What Hurts The Most
by PricklySare
Summary: A BabeFic. Ranger realizes he's never told Steph he loves her and now it might be too late. Rated M for possible future chapters. Now Complete! HEA. WARNING: Some chapters have gratuitous violence and torture. Plus expect some smut! :
1. Prologue

Prologue

_Time is standing still, my life is about to end and I realize this. It doesn't scare me, I knew when I first became a Ranger that my life would be short. Hell, I've made it a lot longer in this world than I ever expected to. I will be leaving this life with only one regret. Not telling her that I love her. That she is the only one, has always been the only one. Had things been different she would have always been the only one. If I were to live a hundred years she would always be My Babe. _

_ I never expected that a Jersey girl from the Burg would be my weakness. I remember watching her walk into the cafe for our meeting. Connie had called in a marker and she wanted me to train this woman, make her a badass apprehension agent. Had I not owed Connie I would have turned her down. As a general rule I don't train people. My men all have previous experience. Most of my men were in one branch or another of the military, all with special forces experience. Those who weren't in the military had experience with the life of hard knocks. _

_ I remember her eyes the first time I saw them, the punch in the gut I had when she walked over to me ignoring the nerves I could see running across her face. She was terrified, but was pushing forward. She sat across from me and didn't ogle me like so many other females would. She didn't flirt, she didn't try for seduction. She just sat there and looked me in the eye, never wavering while I explained how it was going to work. What I expected of her, what she needed to expect from the job. _

_ I didn't realize it at the time, but I do now. She knocked me out that day. I was done. I never had a chance. The second I saw her my world was over. She was my destiny, the one thing that had been missing from my life, the one thing I hadn't realized was missing from my life. _

_ Everyday I showed her how I felt, what she meant to me. Every time she called I was there, every time Morelli or her mother broke her spirit I was there to hold her together. To give her strength. Every time she blew up a car, or broke one of my men I was there. Yet, for all that I'd done for her, for all that I'd shown her, for all that I'd given her I never once allowed myself to give her the one thing she never asked for but always deserved. The three little words that I have never said to anyone. Three little words that were in her eyes every time she looked at me. Three little words that were locked inside my heart screaming to get out. Three little words that I will never get the chance to say. _

_ I watch as the man caresses the trigger of his semi-automatic. He has it pointed at my head and I know that there is no chance I am going to make it out of here. I want my last thoughts to be of Stephanie. I hope that she will find happiness in her life. I want nothing more than for her to go on with her life, to live and to dream, to succeed. _

_ Out of the corner of my eye I see a movement. I can't take the chance to look, I realize I am hallucinating. The beatings I've incurred in the last forty-eight hours along with the dehydration and the sleep deprivation are making my mind play tricks on me. At least the tricks are good. I get to see her one more time. I get to die looking at her. _

_ All of this is happening in seconds. The man pulls the trigger and I hear the sound of gun shots at the same time I hear her voice scream my name._

_ "Ranger!"_

_ I feel the impact like a freight train hitting and I'm thrown across the room. I look down my body and there she is. Death isn't so bad if she is with me. _

_ Then I notice it. Her eyes. There are tears in them, and her breath is coming in short, labored gasps. My eyes trail down her body and I see the blood spreading across her shirt. Shit! I'm not dead. _

_ "Babe."_

_ "Ranger..." her voice trails off. She's losing consciousness, but she's fighting it._

_ "Babe, hang on. You've got to hang on."_

_ "See.... I told you.... I could....save....you." _

_ I hear the sirens and they are close. Rangeman must have been tracking her. Thank God. Just hurry, please hurry. They had to get in here. I press my hands over the wound in her chest trying to slow the bleeding. There is so much blood. Her black Rangeman shirt is soaked through and my hands are covered in her blood. _

_ "Shhhh," I say. "Don't talk. Save your energy, Babe."_

_ "It's cold, Ranger. I'm.....sorry....I....took so.....long." _

_ I watch as her eyes slide closed. I hear the voices of the paramedics as they run through the room, but I'm not paying attention. I feel her go limp in my arms._

_ "Babe! Babe... wake up! Come on Babe, wake up. Stay with me. Please. Stay with me... I love you, Stephanie, but Babe, you've got to fight. Please fight. Don't leave me. Please."_


	2. The Distraction

_**One Week Earlier...**_

I feel my phone buzz against my leg and smile when I look at the caller ID and see it's My Babe.

"Yo", I answer.

"I could use some help, Ranger."

"No surprise there, Babe." I smile. "What do you need?"

"I've got a skip I need some help rounding up." I hear her smile over the line.

"Are you at the office?"

A sigh, "Yeah."

"Be there in ten." I hang up the phone with a smile.

Since we're apprehending a skip I choose the Escalade. Sliding into the driver's seat I pull out of the Rangeman garage and head to the office. I enjoy driving, the sound of the road under the wheels and the purr of the engine help me to relax and work things out in my head. Steph calls it my zone. I guess it is.

I am wondering what kind of trouble my Babe has gotten herself into this time. She always manages to get herself into one mess or another, but unlike Morelli I don't find it a bother or an inconvenience. I am proud of her. Proud of her determination, proud of her intelligence, her honor and her intuition. She may not have the same skills that my men and I have, or even the skills that are traditionally expected of a bounty hunter—but she has intuition that can be down right spooky. Plus she has luck. Lots of luck.

I glide to a stop in front of the bonds office and climb out to wait for Steph to come outside. If I don't need to be in the office then I avoid it. Best not to be around Vinnie anymore than actually necessary. Every time I deal with him I feel like I need to scrub with bleach.

Through the window I see Steph gather her bag and her jacket, waving goodbye to Lula and Connie as she pushes through the door. She sees me leaning against the Escalade and smiles. When she gets to me I pull her close, running my hands along her ribcage grazing her breasts with my thumbs. I can feel her body respond to me and I feel my body respond in kind. I lightly kiss her lips, tracing my tongue along her bottom lip until she parts them and lets me in. She tastes like Boston cremes and coffee.

Not for the first time I curse Morelli. Word on the street is that they're in the off again phase. Every time I hear this, I hope that for both our sakes its for good. It never seems to be though. She always goes back to him. It's a vicious cycle that I hope she breaks soon. I'm tired of being patient. Tired of waiting. I've considered her mine for what seems like forever. In my life, with my line of work, five years _is_ forever.

I pull away from her noticing that she is unsteady and her eyes are clouded with passion. I love the effect I have on her. Though, she has the same effect on me. I'm surprised she hasn't noticed that yet.

"We should go, Babe."

She struggles to focus, to regulate her breathing and I give her the smile that tells her I'd like to have her for lunch.

"Okay." She says.

I open the passenger door for her and watch as she climbs in. I watch as her tight white shirt slides across her breasts and a hint of her stomach peeks out above her waistband. She is beautiful and it astounds me that she doesn't realize it. She knows she can do "sexy", and she does it well, but she doesn't seem to understand that she is beautiful even without all the make-up, the tight dresses or the shoes. But God, do I love the shoes.

"So who do we have, Babe?" I ask as I settle into the driver seat.

She gives me a grin and says, "Phoenix Rising."

I flip through the bond agreement and lift my eyebrow at her.

"A stripper? Really, Babe?"

She grins at me again, this time a cat ate the canary grin. I have a feeling where this is going.

"Babe." I say.

"Well, you see Ranger, I figure you've used me as a distraction enough times so this time I figured I could use you." She eyes me up and down, and then continues. "There isn't a woman around who wouldn't voluntarily follow you. All you have to do is smile and they are putty in your hands."

"Babe." I say again.

"No, Ranger. I need to bring her back in. My rent is due, I need to get another car--again. I have bills to pay and no food in the fridge. If I can't get her Joyce will and I will NOT have that. You are going to go into that club, smile your two hundred watt smile and convince her to follow you outside. We will handcuff her, stick her in the Escalade and get her to the cop shop." Finally she stopped speaking and took a breath. I wondered when she was going to need to do that. She had been speaking increasingly faster as she went through her tirade.

"Okay, Babe." I have to admit I'm impressed with her logic even if I'm not thrilled at the thought of going into a strip club and hitting on a stripper. I do find it amusing that she decided the best way to do this was to use me as a diversion. Apparently I've taught her a little too well. I laugh to myself. Nothing is ever boring with her in my life.

I lean over the seat and pull her close to me kissing her lips until she is pressing against me. I run my hands through her tangled hair and anchor her to me while I taste the sweetness of her mouth. I feel her grab handfuls of my shirt and feel more than hear the purr that comes from her throat. I slowly pull away, taking a deep breath. That probably wasn't the smartest thing for me to do before I go into a club full of naked women and have to hit on one. I can feel my pants getting tight in the crotch and I let out a deep breath. Time to get it over with.

"Be back, Babe." I say as I climb out of the Escalade.

The music is loud and the colored lights strobe around the stage reflecting off the brass pole and the clear heeled FMP's on the dancer currently on stage. I walk in giving a barely perceptible nod at the bouncer before heading to a table against the wall. I keep my back to the wall so that no one can sneak up on me, and I have a view of all the entrances and exits. According to Steph the FTA should be coming on stage next.

A blonde girl who couldn't be older than eighteen sashays over to me on toothpick heels and I can't help but imagine Steph wrapping her legs around my hips wearing nothing but them. The girl's heavily made up eyes are a unremarkable brown color and she is undressing me with her them. I return her look with a bored one of my own. She leans down next to me making sure her artificial breasts are in my face and licks her lips.

"Hey baby, what's your pleasure?"

I look at her and give her a smile that doesn't reach my eyes before saying, "I'm just here for the show."

"I can give you a show, baby. Just the two of us."

Shit. I just want to get this done with. I don't visit strip clubs as a rule. Occasionally I've attended meetings with disreputable clients here, but that was their choice not mine.

"No thank you. I'm actually here for Phoenix Rising. I hear she is coming on next."

The girl's eyes flash for a moment before she licks her lips again and gets back into her role.

"Okay, baby. But you don't know what you're missing." She gives me another of her seductive looks as she sashays away again.

Oh, I'm sure I do.

The DJ announces our FTA and a statuesque red head with artificially enhanced breasts barely covered by a silver bikini top glides out of the shadows and onto the stage. She grabs onto the pole with one hand and wraps a leg around it. Her clear heels have straps that wrap around her leg to just under her knee. I watch as she wraps the other leg around the pole and hangs herself upside down while trailing her hands down her stomach and back up to her neck. Slowly she unties the string from around her neck to expose her breasts. I contemplate putting a pole on the seventh floor and wonder if Steph would be willing to dance for me.

I catch the FTA's eyes as she steps off the stage heading back to her changing room and give her the full two hundred watts of my smile-- just like Steph wanted. I watch as she loses her concentration for a moment and can't help but laugh to myself. I don't often think about the way I look, but I've experienced enough women to know the effect I have on them. I realize that when they see me they see nearly six feet of dark skin that Steph describes as mocha latte, well defined muscles and a tight butt. Long black hair tied at my neck with a leather strap and eyes that hide secrets. They look at me and they sense danger, something that they think they want.

Tonight I'm dressed in my typical Rangeman gear of black cargo pants, black Rangeman tee shirt and black boots. A black Rangeman jacket covers the gun I carry in my shoulder holster. I left my utility belt in the Escalade, though I do have cuffs in my waist band, and a knife in my ankle holster. I am never without a weapon.

Phoenix Rising is walking towards me dressed now in a short skirt and tight fitting shimmery red shirt, her eyes running over my body. Her eyes are heavily made up as well, but instead of the unremarkable brown eyes of her younger coworker, hers are a bright emerald green. She has lines around her eyes, but they appear to be more from sun and smiling than from a hard life. According to her bond paperwork she was picked up for carrying concealed, but other than that she has no previous record. She is pre-med at Jersey State and is apparently working her way through school as a dancer. There are worse ways she could be making money.

I smile at her again when she reaches my table. "Like something you see?" I ask her.

She licks her lips and smiles. "Yes, actually. What's your name, baby?"

I take my time looking up and down her body before I ask, "What would you like it to be?"

Stephanie is definitely going to pay for this. I'm ready to be done with this. Time to step it up a notch so I can get out of here.

I grab her hand gently and kiss her palm. "Come with me."

She looks at me with confusion on her face, and I smile at her again. Letting her think I'd like to eat HER for lunch. She giggles and wraps her hand around mine.

"Ooh, lead the way."

As we leave the table I push the button on my phone that will alert Steph in the Escalade that we're on our way out.

Steph is standing outside the back door when we push out into the night. I catch her eye and smile. I watch her as she walks up to us, looks at Phoenix Rising and says, "Hello, Phoenix. I'm Stephanie Plum. You missed your court date and need to reschedule. I'm here to help you do that."

"Phoenix looks at her and laughs, "Honey, how about I reschedule tomorrow? I'm kinda busy tonight if you know what I mean." She glances back at me with a smile.

I can't help but smile when I see the flash of jealousy cross Steph's face before she says, "Yeah, well... _Honey, _I'm afraid that you're going to be a different kind of _busy_ tonight." In one smooth motion she has a cuff on Phoenix's wrist.

I back up to give her room and to let her handle this the way she wants to. Phoenix is stunned for a moment, just long enough for Steph to flip her around and attach the second cuff to her other wrist. I smile my full two hundred watt smile at her and say, "Proud of you Babe."

She looks over her shoulder at me and the laugh is sparkling in her eyes as she says, "Get the door, Ranger?"

After dropping the FTA at the cop shop and getting the body receipt Steph and I are heading back to her car. It's late so the office is already closed for the day. The receipt will get turned in tomorrow and Steph will get her money.

"Babe."

She looks at me with a straight face, "Ranger." She says.

"You owe me. Big time."

"Oh? How do you figure?"

"Trust me on this. You do, and I will collect. I've got a few ideas already."

I watch her visibly gulp. "Oh, Boy."

I flash her my smile in the dark as we pull up to her car. I want to pull her across the seat and ravish her mouth again, run my hands through her hair and make her as crazy as she makes me. I'm going to need a cold shower tonight.

She opens the door, and looks at me, "Thanks Ranger."

"Welcome, Babe. Stay out of trouble."

She gives me a last smile and climbs down closing the door behind her.

My phone buzzes at my waist as I pull away from Steph's car. I look down at the ID.

"Yo."

"Boss. Looks like we've got a flag on the account. Someone's looking into you. Appears like it's at the local not the federal level. Think it might be Morelli?"

Long ago I set up safety nets for my privacy, firewalls that people have to get through in order to find information about me. Anytime anyone looks into my background too deeply Rangeman is notified. I usually know when to expect a notification, usually when I've been working on a project at the federal level. Rangeman hasn't taken on any new government contracts recently so I highly doubt that it's federal. My guess would be that it is Morelli getting his boxers in a bunch.

"It's possible. Keep an eye on it and keep me notified. If they dig deeper steer them elsewhere." I hang up the phone and relax into my zone.


	3. Black

A/N: I don't own these characters. I only wish I did. :)

Thanks to everyone who has commented on this. I really appreciate all your input and support! I hope you enjoy this chapter. I had a hard time getting going on it. Ranger and I weren't seeing eye to eye for a while, but I think we got it figured out. :)

Chapter Two

Something is going on and I'm getting frustrated by the lack of intel I've been able to get. In the last two days Rangeman has been notified of four more attacks on my privacy. All of these attacks are localized so whoever is interested in my background is close by. Originally I suspected that it was Morelli, but it doesn't play for me. I may not like him, may have no problem with taking Steph from him, but I respect him as a cop. He respects the system too much to go through a backdoor to find out information on me. He would tie his hands by going through all the proper and legal channels. Just one more difference between him and I.

I've been putting out feelers, trying to figure out who is searching me out but every lead I get is a dead end. The word is that there is no word. There isn't even a peep on the street about what's going on or who is interested in me.

My phone buzzes and without looking I know it's her. I feel the punch in the gut that I get every time she calls, every time she's near me. I've been keeping my distance from Steph since we caught her skip. There is just too much going on, and I don't like putting her in a situation that I don't feel like I can handle. This situation is making me tense. I consider ignoring it, letting it go to voicemail, but I don't. I need to hear her voice.

"Yo."

"So, I think you need to come over." a sigh escapes, "Now." Her voice is steady, but I can hear the strain in it and I am out the door heading to the garage before I even realize it.

"Babe. Right there." I hang up my phone and remote the Turbo open taking to the road in a smooth burst of speed. I hit all the lights right and pull into her lot. It has been five minutes.

When I get to her door I pause contemplating whether I should knock or just let myself in. My heart is knocking in my chest and I take a deep meditative breath, slowly releasing it, finding my center. I let myself in.

She's curled up on the couch, hair a riot of curls around her face. Her eyes are shadowed and watching me as I walk toward her. "Babe?" I ask running my knuckles over her cheek breathing in her scent as she leans into my hand. "Problem?"

"It's been one of those weeks."

I raise my eyebrow waiting for her to continue. When she doesn't continue I ask, "Want to share?"

I can feel frustration rolling off her in waves. She smacks her forehead with the palm of her hand, sits up and sighs. "Why me?" She says before smacking her forehead again. "Unh. Do you realize I sound like my mother? I love my mother, I don't want to be my mother. I don't want pot roast on Sundays and stuffed cabbage on Mondays; but I don't want this either.

" I'm tired of getting shot at, I'm tired of being stalked by psychos," her voice is steadily rising as she is talking, "I'm tired of rolling around in garbage and losing handcuffs, I'm tired of everyone breaking into my apartment. I'm tired of feeling like I have to look over my shoulder all the time and feeling like I need to check for video cameras in a place that is supposed to be my safe haven. And I'm so GOD DAMN TIRED OF PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT BEING THREATENED!!" She shouts. "Fuck!" Tears are threatening to fall down her cheeks and I feel my heart contract. God, don't cry. I feel useless when she cries.

So instead I focus on the details, that is the only way you can get through a mission. Focus on the details, ignore the emotions. "How long?"

"What?" She's looking dazed.

"How long have you been looking over your shoulder?"

She bites her lip, "Since before we picked up Phoenix Rising."

"Babe." Why didn't she tell me? Never mind. "How long before?"

Now she looks guilty when she says, "About a week before."

Shit. It's been almost two weeks and I haven't had a clue. The guys have been monitoring her as usual but I have given them orders to stay back and to not assist unless necessary. She and I came to an agreement a while back, she pretends like they aren't there and I can concentrate on work because I don't have to worry about her safety. She is the Queen of Denial Land. It works for me. "Why are you telling me now?" I ask her trying to keep my voice even. I'm finding it hard to control my emotions. I want to drag my hands through my hair but I remain still.

"Turn on the TV, Ranger. There's a DVD in, you need to see it." she says in a dead voice.

Shit.

When the DVD begins all I hear is breathing. Suddenly the picture comes up and there is Steph walking into the bonds office. She's wearing a tight white tee shirt and tight blue jeans. She's smiling. Another scene plays, Steph rolling around on the ground with Thomas Shutto. Cuffing him and pulling him to Big Blue. There are more scenes, they've been spliced together to make a mini movie.

Scenes of her and I in the alley next to the bond office, her climbing into the Turbo, a close up of her and I-- my hand tucks a curl behind her ear and I kiss her. Scenes with her and Morelli. Arguing at the scene of one of her car catastrophes.

The DVD goes black again and I hear breathing. When the picture comes back up it shows her bedroom. Shows her removing her clothes and climbing into the shower. I hear her talking to herself in the shower. She's talking about me. She's saying, "Damn, Batman. You've turned me into a shower gel slut." Normally this would make me smile but I am too far gone for that. I have reached a place inside that I have kept tightly hidden. Locked away. It's a dark place inside me. The last time it came out was the night I killed Abruzzi. That was not a good night.

In the next scene she's asleep in her bed, covers falling down around her hips leaving her belly bare, one hand tucked under her cheek. Her hair is a riot of curls. I am leaning against the door watching her, a smile playing across my face.

I remember this night. I stood there for an hour just watching her sleep. Wanting to climb into bed with her and pull her close to me. I wanted to bury my face in her hair and listen to her heart as it beat against my chest. I didn't though. I kept myself in check.

I let my gaze slide to Steph, her emotions are running across her face again. I see anger, frustration, embarrassment, and fear. The emotions are so stark that they fill the room like a living, breathing entity.

The DVD has gone black again, the unidentifiable breathing the only sound in the apartment. Rex isn't even making noise in his aquarium. I feel Steph tensing up more. Another scene begins.

Fuck! No wonder Steph got tense. It isn't a scene that is playing now, but a slide show of images. Images of me. Each image pops up, stays for a moment and then is covered by the cross hairs of a long range sniper rifle. Shit. Fifteen images in all. All of me. The threat is obvious. The DVD goes black again but instead of unidentifiable breathing there is a voice. "_Manoso. I'm coming for you, but first I'm going to kill the only person important enough to you to make a difference. How does it make you feel to know that I have been close enough to touch her. To smell her scent. Does she smell like peaches and fresh rain to you?_

_ I want to watch you squirm, to break, to hurt, I want you to experience all the pain you've handed out to others throughout your life. No longer will you walk around impervious to your past. Your past is back. Your past will no longer be a dark secret you keep locked away. Your past will be made public for the whole world to know. _

_ How do you think your Babe will feel when she knows who you really are? Will she run from you? Will she look at you and see the devil? Will she see you for the evil that you are? I look forward to finding out. _

_ Remember Manoso, the past always comes back to bite you and this time it's taking your Woman with it."_

The DVD ends. The screen turns blue and there is once again silence in the apartment.

Tears are sliding down Steph's cheeks, terror is clear on her face. I pull her to me and wrap my arms around her. "Babe." My hands are running over her back, up and down, up and down. Her tears are soaking my shirt and her hands grab hold of my shirt. "Babe, it's going to be okay. I'm going to protect you, I'll keep you safe. Nothing will happen to you. I promise."

Suddenly she pulls away. "Wwwhat?" She stammers. I try to pull her close again and she yanks away from me. "What do you mean you'll protect _me_? You'll keep _me_ safe? Are you fucking insane? I know you're crazy, everyone knows you have to be crazy, but I didn't know you were so fucking stupid!" She gets up and paces. "You think for one minute I'm actually worried about what is going to happen to _me_? Ranger, did you not watch the same video that I did? He's out to get you. He is going to kill _you_! I'm not worried about me. I've always got someone who is planning to kill me. He's planning on killing _you_! You! Do you understand that? YOU!

"Fuck fuck fuckfuckfuckfuuuuck! Ranger, you might be Batman but even Batman can be killed." I stand here looking at her pacing the living room, yelling at me as tears stream down her face. She's not worried about herself, no she's decided to be worried about me. I've been in war zones, third world countries, and jungles filled with people who wanted nothing more than to torture and kill me, and nothing has ever scared me as much as watching this Jersey girl pace her living room and worry about me.

I see in her eyes a mix of emotions, anger, panic, worry, determination, and an emotion that I'm too scared to admit to understanding. If I acknowledge what I see in her eyes I might be lost. Now is not the time for me to get caught in emotions. I need to keep focused. I need to keep her safe.

"Babe."

"No, Ranger. Don't Babe, me. I know you. I know what you're going to say. You're going to say that you'll be fine. That nothing will happen to you. Then you're going to try and stuff me into some safe house while you're out there on the street taunting this fucking psycho. So no. NO. NO. NO! You are not going to stuff me away so that you can go out and play superhero. I'm going where ever you go, because I am damned if you're going to lose your life. I might not have all the talents or skills that you and your Merry Men have, but I am loyal. I will protect you in any way that I can. I would rather take a bullet than watch you get killed. And I HATE getting shot.

I can't let you take a chance and die, Ranger. I can't imagine life without you in it. I don't want a life that you're not part of. Please, if you want me to go into a safe house come with me. Please."

A million emotions are running through me and I am fighting to keep my face blank. She would take a bullet for me? I can't let that happen. I will never forgive myself if something happens to her because of me. I know her well enough to know that she means everything she is saying. I won't be able to stuff her away somewhere safe. I won't be able to go out and search for the mother fucker who is tormenting her. Hell, I don't even know who the fucker is. Shit.

"Okay, Babe."

She stops pacing and looks at me, "Okay? Okay, what? Okay, you'll keep me with you, or okay, you'll come into a safe house with me and stay away from the psycho?"

"Okay, I'll go with you to a safe house. We'll use the seventh floor. The building will be on lock down, no one can get to us there. It's the closest place and it's safe." I watch the tension drain from her and pull her into my arms when she comes towards me. "Let me call Tank. Go pack your bag. I'll have someone come and get Rex tomorrow. He'll be safe here tonight. Is that okay?"

I feel her nod her head against my chest and sniffle. "Yeah, that will be alright." I let her go and watch her walk into her room to pack her bag. I pull out my cell and hit speed dial. She turns around and looks at me, "Thanks, Ranger."

"Babe."

The phone rings once before Tank picks up. "Yo."

"We've got a situation. I think the guy who's been checking into me has decided to try a different angle." I keep my voice level as I continue, "Steph received a DVD tonight. Turns out she's been followed for the last two weeks and her privacy has been violated." I feel the anger and darkness welling up inside again. My knuckles are white where I am gripping the phone. When I find the fucker who has been tormenting her, following her, invading her life I am going to kill him. I will tear him apart and there will be nothing left to identify. "She didn't tell us because she figured it was nothing. Until she got the DVD. He's been video taping her. He was in her apartment video taping her."

"Damn, Boss. How is Bombshell handling it?"

"Fine until the end of it. At the end there were fifteen pictures of me. Each one with cross hairs. The bastard is taunting me. The DVD was sent to her, but meant for me. I'm bringing it in. Steph is staying on seven with me. We're going offline and on lock down. Find this bastard Tank.

"Bring in all the guys. This is top priority until he is neutralized. Pull Bobby, Hal, Cal, and Lester in from the field. Work on this round the clock."

"Got it, Boss. We'll get him. Take care of Bombshell and get back here."

I close my cell just as Steph walks out of her room, bag in hand. "Ready?" I ask.

She smiles at me, but the smile doesn't reach her eyes. "Yeah. At least as ready as I ever am when there is a crazy stalker following me around and threatening the people I love."

My heart skips a beat when what she says finally registers. _People I love._ Shit. Focus Manoso. Focus. I want to tell her I love her but I can't. I've told her before that I love her, but I always qualify it. I can't tell her that without her my life will be empty and dark. I can't tell her that I want nothing more than to have a life with her. My life doesn't lend itself to relationships-- people use the people I care about against me. They try to hurt me through them.

If I were to open up and tell her, make her a permanent part of my life she would be in permanent danger. What kind of life is that for someone? I can't offer her a home, children, a white picket fence. Our lives would always be in jeopardy. I can't do that to her. I won't.

I place my hand at the small of her back as we walk toward the elevator. The feel of her skin beneath my hand calms me even as it excites me. I remember the feel and taste of her skin, the perfect little dip where her back meets her hips. The next days are going to be both a pleasure and a torture. Pleasure because I'll have her to myself, alone in my apartment. My bed. Torture because I know I can't offer her what she deserves. I won't force myself on her, and I don't think she is ready to make the move to me.

She's been on again off again with Morelli for so long that he is ingrained in her head. She needs to be sure of herself before she will come to me. I want her to come to me on her own, with out the ghost of Morelli haunting her. I want her to want me. Even when I shouldn't. I want all of her. Even when I can't have her.

She leans into me as we step off the elevator and I tighten my arm around her. The remote is already in my hand as we exit the building. The lights on the Turbo flash as the alarm deactivates and the locks disengage. I lead her around to the passenger side and suddenly there is a roaring in my ears, and I lose hold of Steph as I'm thrown back from the car. Then there is nothing but black.


	4. Goodbye

A/N: Thanks for all your support and comments! This chapter is a little different, and I hope you'll enjoy it!

As always, if you recognize it, it isn't mine. :) Though it is such a shame....

Chapter Three

_The rain is pouring from the sky, bouncing off the black umbrellas that are keeping the mourners dry. I relish the feel of the rain as it hits my face. My black suit is soaked through, my hair is a streaming wet mess around my face. The tree I'm standing beneath isn't keeping the water off, and I can't bring myself to care. _

_ Everyone has come out, it is the biggest funeral turn out the Burg has ever seen. Everyone wants to be part of making history, I think bitterly to myself. There are tears in everyone's eyes, as the priest reads the Bible passage. _

_ I hate funerals. She hated funerals. Funerals aren't really about the person that has gone, but about the people who were rudely left behind to carry on with life. To continue on as if nothing happen. To continue on with life as if their very essence hasn't been ripped from them. Damn you! Damn you for coming into my life. Damn you for loving me. Damn you for making me love you. Damn you for leaving me alone in this life without you. This is not what I want. _

_ Her mother is draped across her father in hysterics, he runs his hands over her back over and over. There are tears running silently down his cheeks. He may be a man of few words, but he loved his daughter. Whenever I met him he always seemed like he understood his daughter. Didn't want her to be stuck in the Burg. Wanted her happiness. _

_ Her grandma sits unmoving in the seat beside them. For the first time not trying to get close to the casket. Apparently it isn't nearly as important to see inside when it's your life that the lid is shut on. No open casket for her. _

_ He's here too. Sitting with her family as if he belongs there. His face is impassive. No emotion is crossing his face. I know he loved her, but he never could understand her. He didn't want her to fly. He wanted to keep her safe. Only for her to be safe she wouldn't be allowed to be herself. She would have pot roast and stuffed cabbage. All the things she didn't want. _

_ At least then maybe she would still be alive. The world would still have light in it. The darkness wouldn't be all consuming. The rain falls harder and I lift my face to the torrent. _

_ Today appears to be a good day to be a criminal. Apparently the entire Trenton Police Department is in attendance. I guess it's important to support one of your own when they are laying to rest someone they love. The guys are here too. No one can see them though. She was theirs, they wouldn't miss saying goodbye. _

_ Death affects everyone differently I suppose. The guys from the cop shop look like they are going to be sick. Some of them appear to have been drinking heavily recently. I don't think anyone really ever thought something would happen and she wouldn't walk away. She was always so lucky. The luckiest person I've ever known. Luck has a funny way of turning. Running out when you least expect it. _

_ Everyone is filing by her, placing flowers on the closed lid of her casket. Lula steps up wearing a black sequenced dress that was made with a much smaller woman in mind, and places a pair of cuffs on the lid. I hear her say, " White girl, you're always losing these things. I figure you might need them. Save me a doughnut." _

_ I feel myself breaking in half. I feel the darkness slipping closer, and yet I remain where I'm standing. Away from everyone. Alone. I'm not wanted here. Joe told me not to come. That I didn't belong. That it is my fault she is gone. That I killed her. _

_ He's right. I did kill her. I curse Connie. I curse God, not that I have much faith that he's listening to me anyway. I curse the day I walked into that cafe and met my world. _

_ I watch as everyone slowly leaves the graveside, heading back to their vehicles. Mourning the loss of their daughter, sister, friend. When the last person is gone I finally step from my spot and walk toward the only person I've ever loved. _

_ The lid is covered with roses the color of blood and the raindrops are beading on the lacquered finish. I haven't let myself cry yet. I'm supposed to be Batman. I'm supposed to have such legendary control, but all the control in the world isn't making the pain go away. _

_ "Babe. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you ever met me. I'm sorry you didn't marry Morelli and have two point five kids and a white picket fence. I'm sorry you're never going to get those things now." I'm quiet for what could be moments, or hours. Just staring at her casket. At the flowers. She wasn't a rose. I never saw her as a rose. She was a wild flower, strong, resilient, beautiful and rare. Roses are too tame for all the fire, all the passion that made her who she was. _

_ I feel the blackness pulling at me. "DAMN YOU!" I shout to the sky. "Damn you for loving me. Damn you for making me feel, to open up my heart to you. Damn you for giving me everything that was you. Damn you for leaving me alone... Damn you for making me love you." I vaguely realize that there are tears on my cheeks mixing with the rain. Batman has broken. I place a daisy on top of the roses and fall to my knees. Not caring that the mud is soaking through. I lay my head on her casket as the tears roll down my cheeks and the sobs wrack my body. I can't leave her. Without her I no longer exist. My fingers dig into the wood and the flowers beneath my fingers. My body is trying to get closer to her. I will die. _

_ Suddenly the pain is so intense that I double over. My heart feels like it's beating too hard. I feel the pain again stabbing through me as if lightening is coursing through my body. Thunder rolls and I feel it again. I'm dying. Thank God. _

_ Soon Babe. Soon. _

The pain is excruciating and I try to open my eyes, wondering why I'm not dead yet. Wondering how long its going to take before I am. Before I can be with My Babe. My eyes are swollen shut, and I realize that my arms are bound behind me. I'm in a chair. I hold myself perfectly still.

It was a dream. A nightmare. Not dead. She's not dead. At least, I don't think she is. I try to focus just as another pain rips through me. Fuck! Focus Manoso. Focus. I'm being electrocuted. Not with enough volts to kill me, not yet anyway. I'm familiar with this procedure.

Slowly, reality begins to return. The explosion. Blackness. Silence. Shit. I concentrate on the sounds around me, the smells. My eyes are still shut, but I work on trying to pry them open while I take in any details I can.

The smell of blood permeates the area. Mold, rot, dust and dirt are here as well. A cold breeze rushes across my face. I hear a laugh.

"You're finally coming back, my friend. Good. I'm not nearly done with you."

I manage to slit my eyes open. Take in my surroundings before focusing on the source of the voice. It appears that I'm in a warehouse. Most likely abandoned. There are empty crates lining the walls, rotten cardboard boxes scattered around the ground. Years worth of garbage is pushed into corners. The walls are tagged with spray paint. None of the original wall is visible under the gang slogans. Looks like Stark Street.

I don't see Steph. I know she isn't here. I'd feel her if she was. Where is she? Maybe she isn't hurt. Tank will care for her. When the Turbo exploded it would have gone off grid. The guys would have mobilized. God, please be okay, Babe.

My eyes travel to my captor and things suddenly begin to make sense. The darkness rolls in the pit of my stomach. The man in front of me is a ghost.

"Alonzo." I croak out. My voice is jagged, ripping from my throat.

He walks toward me. He is still a mountain of a man, with huge muscles that ripple out in ways that aren't necessarily natural. His blue black hair is caught in a long braid down his back, swinging with the motion of his body. The eyes that look at me are dead. As dead as he is supposed to be. There is no life, no soul within the depths of the golden orbs. The brown skin, so like my own is mottled with scars, the full right side of his face has crisscrossing scars that pucker and pull around his eye.

"So, you remember me. Oh good. I wasn't sure. It's been so long after all. So long since you left me to die in that stinking prison." His voice is melodic, soft, sure, with just a hint of the crazy that consumes his body. His soul. In the back of my mind I realize he sounds like Ramirez.

"I watched you die."

There was another flash of pain as electricity coursed through my body. "LIES!" He screams at me. "I was never dead. You left me. Left me to rot while you went on with your life. Became the golden boy. The hero."

"I was... hardly a... golden boy. Never a... hero." I ground out through the pain and my dry throat.

"Do you know what they did to me? What I went through? What I had to do to survive and to escape?" He has begun pacing around the room. His braid twitching like the tail of an aggravated lion. "You were supposed to be my brother. You promised you'd get us out." He snorts, "You got out alright. I didn't.

"Did you leave the rest of the team behind as well? Or did you save them, were they some how more worthy? Were they actually worth your _time_ and your _skills_? Was I the only one you decided to feed to the monsters?"

"I watched them kill you. They made me watch when they shot you, over and over again. I watched. You were dead. I couldn't save you." I feel the electricity again, this time more volts. My nipples are on fire, blood is dripping from where the clamps are digging into the sensitive flesh. My body is wet, water dripping into my swollen eyes and running with blood into my mouth. "They... knew..." I can barely talk. My body wants to shut down. I force the blackness away. I have to stay awake. "I was...responsible. You... were... mine. They wanted...knowledge..." I am losing the battle to stay awake. "...the mission..."

I feel another wave of pain as electricity courses through my body again and as darkness consumes me I think of My Babe... "Babe...."


	5. Torture

A/N: I'm not sure how much I like this particular chapter. I may end up re-writing it at some point, but I don't know. Let me know what you think. I think my Muse is getting antsy. Ranger and Steph have a lot to go through still and I think I'm ready to write that. :)

Thanks to all that have commented. I'm sorry I haven't responded to all of you, RL gets in the way. However, I appreciate all the words of encouragement and enthusiasm. I will try to get the next chapter up soon. :)

As always, I don't own 'em, they just visit me when Janet isn't playing with them. :)

Chapter Four

The pain is radiating from my body like a fire burning, consuming everything within it's path. I've long since lost track of my wounds, and I no longer feel the individual pain of each one. My body is going into shock, and I accept this. I take a moment to catalog my injuries.

My nose is broken, and at least a few ribs are too. I've got deep cuts all over my body where Alonzo tested his blade. My back is ripped to shreds from the whipping he put me through when I finally regained consciousness after the last electro-therapy. I know that I've got damage to my internal organs, but I can't feel enough anymore to actually be able to tell which ones.

The good news is, I'm no longer tied to the chair. Instead, I'm naked, laying on the floor with my hands tied behind my back. Could be worse. I could be dead.

This is not the first time I've been tortured, though it is the first time I've been tortured by someone that I trained. Everything that is being done to me, I taught. It's fitting, I guess. My past has come back to haunt me. Running away didn't help. Moving on with my life didn't help. No, it always comes back.

I find myself reflecting on my life now. On my past. Where I went wrong, or where I went right. I've gone wrong in so many things. There is so little I've done right. Funny how it never bothered me before. My past, the things I've done, they never bothered me. I did what I needed to do at the time. Whatever the situation called for, that is what I did. No second guessing, no queasiness, just go in and do it. Life was easy. Until I met Steph. Suddenly, things started to matter. The things I've done started to pull at my conscience. She thinks I'm Batman, and I'm not.

I'm just a guy who is so concerned with keeping everything locked inside, keeping walls high so that no one can touch me, that I've kept my own happiness at bay. I'm the guy who after the most amazing night of my life, turned my back and told her to fix it with Morelli. Way to go dumbass. Fuck.

The truth is she scares me. Terrifies me. I thought for sure that I just needed the one night, to sate myself in her. To break up this driving need inside me to possess her. I was so sure that one night would be enough and I could move on. I thought for sure it was just sex. The tension, the sparks. All sexual.

No. One night wasn't enough. A hundred nights won't be enough. That one night ruined me. I told her I would ruin her for all men, but she ruined me. She brought out something in me that I didn't know existed and I lost myself in her. I felt my masks drop and the walls start to come down. I lost focus and felt free. I felt, normal.

In the warm light of morning, when the fog from our love making began to clear and I realized that being in her bed for one night wasn't enough, I forced my control to crash back into place like a steel door, ignoring the pain and confusion I saw in her eyes. I left. I convinced myself it was what was best for her. That I couldn't give her what she deserved. That it was best for me. I didn't need or want the complications.

I was lying to myself.

I want her like I want my next breath. I need her like I need air. She is everything that a woman should be. She is strong, and caring. Beautiful and kind. Sexy, but understated. She is loyal to a fault, putting herself into harms way to protect those she has taken under her wing. She mothers those who need mothering, even while she is terrified of taking care of someone else. She can't seem to help it. It's who she is.

Her strength of character draws me to her like a moth to a flame. I am helpless in her control over me-- a control she doesn't even realize she has. Money is of no concern to me as long as she is happy and safe. My men love her, and even if it wasn't a standing order to protect her, they would. They would give their lives for hers, just as surely as I would. While this is what I want, at times I've found jealousy lurking in the corners of my heart. Jealousy that so many men love her. That so many men would give their lives for her. That so many men would gladly step in to my place and that they would take the chance. Let her in. Let down their guard and give her everything that she deserves.

On more than one occasion my men have taken me to task over my stupidity, telling me in no uncertain terms that I'm a screw up and need to remove my head from my ass before she really does find someone. Someone who treats her like the precious treasure that she is. Someone who isn't me. I can handle if she goes back to Morelli. I won't like it, but I can handle it because he is the devil I know. He can give her what she deserves. I can handle their relationship, because I know that she will never be truly content with what he will give her. There will always be a place for me in her life. She will always need me in some capacity that he won't be able to fill. I would rather be a part of her life, living on the edges, than be cut from her life completely. Removed like a cancerous cell. Something is better than nothing.

What I can't handle is some unknown man. Someone who comes to her, sweeps her off her feet and leaves no place left for me in her heart. In her life. He's out there. I know he is, and that realization causes me more pain everyday than the torture I've gone through at the hands of Alfonzo.

As if my captor is conjured just by a thought, he appears in front of me again.

"My friend. Are you ready to begin again? Are you ready to experience some of the techniques I've learned since we were together all those years ago? Or would you rather hear about what I've done to your little bitch?" He smiles at me, a smile bright with insanity and hate. His sick joy of my future pain excites him and he bounces on the balls of his feet. "Yes," he says, with a slow nod of his head. "I will tell you about what I've done to your bitch. Details are good. She's not your woman anymore. She's mine. You should hear her scream."

I feel the monster inside me wake up. Feel it push at the doors that keep it caged. The cold rush of fury burns me from the inside and I welcome it like a long lost friend. With open arms and a smile. If he has touched Stephanie, I will kill him and smile.

"That bothers you, Manoso?" His smile grows wider. He's enjoying his game. "It's finally happened for you I see. Does she know? Have you told her? Or are you still hiding behind your walls? Just a scared little boy in the big bad world?" My eyes flash and he laughs. I'm working on getting my wrists free from their bindings. The going is slow, but I can feel them loosening small increments at a time. When they are free, the beast inside me will be free as well.

"I guess then, since you love her I should tell you that she screamed for you. That she begged for your life before I took her." He gets down into my face. "Ah, Manoso, my friend.... she is a wild cat. I hurt her and she loved it. I want you to know that I've touched every inch of her. Licked every inch of her. Made every inch of her mine."

I feel bile rising in my throat and blackness trying to consume me from the inside. No Babe. Please no. He can't have touched her. The guys would have gotten to her. Right? I fight back the bile and the darkness and look at the monster in front of me. A monster that I taught. That I trained. My eyes are hard, filled with the promise of retribution. I focus the full force of my anger on Alonzo. "I. Will. Kill. You." I say to him. "For even thinking of touching her. You. Are. Dead."

A laugh bubbles out from Alonzo's throat and he throws his head back. The laughter is bouncing off the walls of the cavernous room. "You think you can kill me, Manoso? You think you've got a chance? You don't. You are mine and you are nearing death. I am getting bored with you and soon I will leave you to die the way you left me. I will leave your bullet torn body alone, the way you should have always been. The way you left me."

I watch him pick up a needle of clear liquid and clear out the air, I'm getting bored now and I have a few more things to get done before I kill you. I've got a date. Stephanie is all tied up, waiting for me. I think I'll fuck her again before I kill her."

My eyes never leave his as he advances on me with the needle. I haven't gotten my hands free yet and I know I'm out of time. I feel the prick as the needle punctures my skin. My body is on fire, the liquid coursing through my body is burning like acid. My body bows as the drug flows through my bloodstream. A scream is ripped from my throat as my body continues to spasm. The darkness is closing in on me again and I welcome it. The pain is too much and I can't control it. In the darkness I'm with my Babe. Babe, I miss you. Please me okay. I love you.

Before the darkness takes me I hear him say, "Yes, my friend. Sleep now. When you wake up your woman will be dead." Laughter of the psychotic rang in my head like the soundtrack to my life as the darkness slid over me once again and the pain was gone.


	6. Hell

A/N: This is a background chapter and I need to add a warning to this chapter. It gets graphic and if you don't think you can handle graphic torture then this might not be for you.

As always, if you recognize them then they aren't mine. Let me know what you think! And thanks for all your comments and support!

Chapter Five

Sounds are slowly filtering through my consciousness as I wake up. I hear water dripping, fire crackling, the shuffle of feet close to my face. The scent of fire permeates the room, mixing with the mold, the wet, the dirt, the garbage. For a moment I am transported back to the mission in Afghanistan, the mission where I left Alonzo behind.

_The fire is crackling in the grate across from us, the only warmth we have up here in the frigid mountains of this particular sandbox. Alonzo is sitting next to me, legs stretched out in front of him while he cleans his knife. _

_ We've been posted here for two weeks now. No one knows where we are, since there is no official mission on record. We officially do not exist. Our intelligence tells us that a large supply of military weapons is due to be transported in the ravine below us. An enterprising Army General decided that it would be in his best interest to commit an act of treason against our country and sell military weapons to insurgents. Apparently two mortgages, a yacht, and a mistress were making money tight. So he decided to making some play money. _

_ Right now, the General is oblivious to his certain death. He sits high on his throne of power watching his men get shot down, blown up, and tortured. Knowing that he is helping the enemies he is supposed to be fighting, knowing that he is personally responsible for the death of the men who give their lives under his command. When this mission is done I look forward to giving him everything he deserves. _

_ The smell of dirt and garbage is mixing with the smell of fire. I relax against the cliff wall behind me and close my eyes. I don't sleep, but I relax. Sleep is in short supply these days, the men and I survive off of an hour or two here and there. Even with teams, and watch schedules sleep is a luxury that we don't feel inclined to take. We want to get this over. We want to pin the bastard responsible for this to the wall. _

_ Bobby is sitting across from me. Arms crossed over his chest getting whatever rest he can before his next security patrol. Tank and Les are playing with a deck of cards that look like they were caught in a fire—or an explosion. Of course, they were. Garrett has stretched out as much as possible, using his flak as a pillow. _

_ My team and I have worked hundreds of operations within the last five years. We've never been apart longer than a few weeks at a time. Never been home more than a few weeks in between missions. This job is our life, and our lives aren't great for relationships. At least not lasting ones. Most of us are happy for the occasional companionship of a pretty woman. Some of the guys aren't nearly as picky about the woman—Garrett likes to say that they all look the same in the dark after a few drinks._

_ I'm more picky than that. I have an appreciation for beautiful women. Preferably women who aren't expecting sweet words or promises I won't keep. I prefer them to not ask questions, or tell me their stories. They are not part of my life. I don't want the attachment, even the mild one. Sex doesn't require that I know her name. Let alone that she is from Kentucky and wants to be a model. I don't believe in paying for the company either. _

_ The only one of us who actually has an attachment to anyone is Alonzo. He's got a girl at home. She's expecting soon and he's getting out. Says he's done with the missions. It's time to move on with his life. Once this mission is over he's heading on back to Washington State. They're planning the wedding for the summer. He told me that he's giving up his Independence on Independence Day. Poor Fool. _

_ I joined the Rangers because I knew it was all I was cut out for. I have never been good at relationships. I'm too private, to careful, and too controlling of my surroundings. I have never been comfortable by emotions so I've always kept them locked down. _

_ Though, if I was honest, even with myself-- I'd admit that I'm jealous of Alonzo. His future is set. He's happy. His woman is beautiful, faithful and loving. I wish I had it in me to have what he has. _

_ I'm torn from my silent musings by the loud report of gunfire. In a matter of seconds the team is mobile. Using only hand signals and years of experience working together we merge into the shadows of the world outside our hiding place. The night sky is starless, the light from the moon is covered by clouds and snow is falling, further hampering the enemy's vision. _

_ The battle, though short is bloody. The body count is high. We were taken by surprise, but we managed to remain whole. Suddenly out of the darkness comes a sound. A whistle. A shriek. Then there is an explosion and everything goes black. _

_ When I wake up we've been captured. We are locked inside a room, chained to the wall, naked. Six specially trained Rangers sitting naked in a dark hole. Light seeps through bars high in the ceiling of our prison. Just enough to make a person crazy. Just enough to let you know that it is day, or night. Just enough so you can count the days of your captivity. _

_ There is nothing in the room except for us, and bugs. No tables, no chairs, no toilets. The room smells of fear, anger, death, sickness, and bodily fluids. _

_ I feel as a cockroach skitters across my leg. I ignore it. I wonder how long we've been here. How long I've been unconscious for. I look around the room and notice the men staring at me. Five pairs of eyes focused on me. _

_ Tank is the first to speak, "Good to have you with us. Now, what are you going to do to get us out of here?"_

_ Obviously I'm expected to get us out, and I will just as soon as I figure out how long we've been here and where here is exactly. I can't have been out too long. Maybe an hour or two at most. "You act like I've been out for days rather than hours. Give me a minute to catch my bearings and then I'll work on getting us out of here." I say._

_ Tank looks at me, " Ranger, you've been out for two days—maybe longer, but two days since we've been awake. We've been in this hell hole for at least two days, though it feels like it's been much longer."_

_ I look around the room again, catching the eye of each of my men. Giving myself a moment to process this information. It doesn't look like any of them have been tortured, yet. That is something. _

_ "Whats happened while I've been out? Do any of you know where they've taken us?_

_ Lester answers this time. "I was the first to wake up, and all I can say is that they had us in an armored truck that looked like it belonged to us. We weren't heading into the city, looked like we were heading further into the wilderness. When they noticed I'd come to they knocked me out again with the butt of a gun." _

_ "Okay, so there probably aren't a lot of innocent people around us then." I pause and look at Garrett. "What kind of explosive would you hazard a guess that they used to knock us out and not kill us?"_

_ He turns his head toward me before saying, "My best guess is they used a flash grenade, fast acting knockout gas combo. I judge it to have taken approximately thirty seconds from the time they launched it to the time we blacked out."_

_ I don't like the sound of this. They have advanced weapon technology that they shouldn't have. Unless the General was selling our weapons longer than we thought. Another thought piggybacks in on that one. How did they get passed our security patrols? And how did they know where we were?_

_ "It would appear," I say to the room, "that the General isn't just selling weapons but secrets as well. Otherwise, there is no way they should have been able to target us. We've been here for two weeks without incident. Something changed."_

_ Throughout the room I hear, "Fuck!"_

_ "I'm going to slice him up when we get out of here." Alonzo states. There is a wealth of promise in his voice. I realize not for the first time that he is not someone I'd want to have against me. _

_ "Maybe we should gas him and lock him in a giant black hole with bugs." Lester offers._

_ "Lets worry about getting out of here first, then we'll worry about taking care of the good General. No worries, he will get what he's earned." I promise._

_ The days drag by slowly. Everyday we're getting weaker and weaker. We do what we can to stay in shape, to keep our muscles from becoming useless. Our chains keep us from more than the most basic of movements though. We are fed stale bread and rancid water once a day. The men and I have started trapping the roaches and eating them. We've all ate worse. _

_ Our bodies are covered in filth and open sores. The beatings have started. The torture. Our captors remove us one at a time from our prison, torture us for hours at a time and then when we can no longer fight, no longer stand, no longer move, they drag us back to our prison. The torture has no reason behind it. They don't ask questions. There is no interrogation. Just pain. We're here to be killed. Slowly. _

_ From what we can tell based on the changing light passing through the bars in the ceiling it's been two weeks. It could very well be longer though. Time seems to be a never ending pit when you're trapped in Hell. _

_ I know I need to get my men out of here. They're counting on me. If we don't get out of here soon we never will. I need to keep my strength to be able to figure this out. Everyday we force ourselves to do whatever exercise that we can. Some days it is impossible to do more that lay motionless on the ground._

_ On the twenty first day of our capture, or possibly the hundredth day; our captors come in as they have everyday since the beatings and torture began. There are four of them this time. Two of them release Alonzo. The other two come toward me, removing my chains and then we're drug out of the cell. _

_ They drag us into a circle of hard packed earth surrounded by electrified razor wire. I think for a moment that it seems strange that they have the technology and the finances to afford this type of security, but just as quickly as the thought came it vanishes. _

_ They chain me to a pole. My arms secured tightly behind my back. I have no movement. Across the circle from me they chain Alonzo. He's not chained to a pole but to a large cross. His arms are spread away from his body and they hammer spikes into his wrists. His screams echo in the air. His eyes search out mine and I feel my monster wake up. I begin to struggle at the chains. I realize I can't get out of them, but I'm helpless not to try. _

_ They torture Alonzo for hours. When I prove too weak to watch anymore and turn my head away, they bind my head to the pole. Forcing me to watch while they beat him, torture him. Slicing at his body with razors, knives, and glass. They stab him in the side, laughing as the blood courses down his body. When they take fire to his face my stomach revolts and I throw up what little food I have had. I am helpless to save him. His eyes stare at me. Accusing. I can't help him. _

_ They finally kill him. The gun they use to put two bullets into his heart appears to be mine. I am empty. I failed him. I watch as they remove him from the cross and drag him to the open ditch that surrounds the circle. I watch as they drop his lifeless body into the hole and walk away laughing. They walk by me laughing. Leaving me chained to the pole. Leaving me with the loss of my brother, my friend. _

_ Time is lost. They are removing me from the pole and dragging me back to the cell. The long hours I spent chained to the pole have given me what I need. I have a plan and I will get the rest of my men out of here. Alonzo will not have died in vain. I will get us out of here. I will kill everyone responsible and feel nothing but joy in my heart. I will fly to Washington State and tell Alonzo's woman—Kristy, I remember her name—that the man she loves, the father of her child, her future, died a hero. I will do whatever I need to do to make sure that they are taken care of. That they want for nothing. It's the least I can do for Alonzo. I say a prayer for him. I make a promise to him. He will be remembered. He will be avenged. _

_ It's been a month since my men and I made our escape from the prison in Afghanistan. I sign the last of the papers in front of me. I am officially out. No longer am I an Army Ranger. The job is not mine any longer. Beside me are three of the best men I've ever known. Tank, Lester, and Bobby are signing the same papers as I am. We are moving on to the next stage of our lives. Garrett has already taken his discharge. Alonzo was his best friend, and now that he's gone Garrett couldn't handle the job anymore. He broke down and was medically discharged. He headed back to Washington State to be with Kristy, and Alonzo's unborn baby. They need each other. _

_ When we got back in country we took care of business. The General was dispatched quickly and cleanly. The weapons were recovered and the prison we'd been held in disappeared amid smoke and missiles. Unfortunately, the government chose once again to protect it's ass and the public will never know the truth about the General. His funeral was three weeks ago. He got the full treatment. A hero's farewell. _

_ We drank a bottle of scotch each. Then we began to plan. _

I feel a boot connect with my cheek. Another one to my ribs. I force my eyes to open and look up from my place on the floor.

"So, my friend...are you ready to hear about the death of your woman? Are you ready to know what it feels like to lose everything? To have everything taken away from you? Because, I'm ready to share." Alonzo squats his massive bulk down to my level. He smiles at me and continues, "It won't be so bad. At least you'll be able to be with her soon. She won't move on."

He's pulling me to my feet and leaning me against the wall and I'm praying that Stephanie isn't dead. That she gets a long life. I pray that she gets all that she wants. Suddenly I feel a pinch when a needle goes into my arm. I look down at the now empty needle in Alonzo's hand.

"Wwwwhat...?" I manage to get out, but that's all.

"Just something to keep you from moving much. I want to untie you. I want you to be free when I tell you about the time I spent with your darling.... _Babe_. Of course, I don't want you to think you can kill me. So I've just given you a drug that will keep you weak. Once I'm done telling you the details I will kill you. You can experience first hand what it's like to be helpless to stop anything. You won't be able to save yourself. You'll stand there while I shoot you and there is nothing you can do about it. Revenge is sweet, is it not?"


	7. Code Blue

A/N: As always the characters in the Plum world do not belong to me.

I hope you enjoy this, and I'm sorry that there is another cliff hanger. This isn't intentional it just seems to be the way the story is unfolding. I just do what the characters tell me to do. :) Blame them.

Thank you all for your support during this story and for your comments. You Babes ROCK!

Chapter Six

Alonzo is enjoying his story telling, enjoying the thought that what he is saying is killing me inside. I do not show emotion. I have my blank mask pulled down. He has been regaling me with his supposed actions toward Stephanie. Telling me of her torture and death. He lies. I can see it in his eyes, the dead eyes that reflect nothing back but my own twisted reflection—yet I know he is lying. I can read him. Maybe I can read him because we are alike. I trained him. I am responsible for the monster that he has become. Not completely, no, but I still hold some responsibility. I left him in the prison after watching them torture him. I can understand his anger.

I remain standing in front of him, unbound and technically free but unable to move enough to kill him. I can feel movement returning, but it is a slow process and one that I am not holding out hope for. My time is running out, and I know this. I watch him pick up my gun, while he is talking. He checks the clip and chambers a round. I know that he is winding up his story, his own form of psychological torture and I say I prayer that I am right and that Stephanie is somewhere safe. Somewhere far from him. I have to believe that she is safe, that she has not experienced the fate that he has been laying out for her in my head.

I don't want to think about him, or about the wrongs I've done in life. I don't want to think about the people I've killed, or the monsters I've helped create. I want to think about her. I want to see her beautiful smile, and watch the light dance in her blue eyes. I want to remember the texture of her curls and the taste of her lips. I want to die with the memory of her scent wrapped around me. I want to die knowing that someone will miss me. That someone loved me.

Knowing that Stephanie is alive makes the knowledge of my death easier to accept. I was never good enough for her. I could never give her what she needed and deserved. If I could do it over again I would. Unfortunately, my time is almost up.

Time is standing still, my life is about to end and I realize this. It doesn't scare me, I knew when I first became a Ranger that my life would be short. Hell, I've made it a lot longer in this world than I ever expected to. I will be leaving this life with only one regret. Not telling her that I love her. That she is the only one, has always been the only one. Had things been different she would have always been the only one. If I were to live a hundred years she would always be My Babe.

I never expected that a Jersey girl from the Burg would be my weakness. I remember watching her walk into the cafe for our meeting. Connie had called in a marker and she wanted me to train this woman, make her a badass apprehension agent. Had I not owed Connie I would have turned her down. As a general rule I don't train people. My men all have previous experience. Most of my men were in one branch or another of the military, all with special forces experience. Those who weren't in the military had experience with the life of hard knocks.

I remember her eyes the first time I saw them, the punch in the gut I had when she walked over to me ignoring the nerves I could see running across her face. She was terrified, but was pushing forward. She sat across from me and didn't ogle me like so many other females would. She didn't flirt, she didn't try for seduction. She just sat there and looked me in the eye, never wavering while I explained how it was going to work. What I expected of her, what she needed to expect from the job.

I didn't realize it at the time, but I do now. She knocked me out that day. I was done. I never had a chance. The second I saw her my world was over. She was my destiny, the one thing that had been missing from my life, the one thing I hadn't realized was missing from my life.

Everyday I showed her how I felt, what she meant to me. Every time she called I was there, every time Morelli or her mother broke her spirit I was there to hold her together. To give her strength. Every time she blew up a car, or broke one of my men I was there. Yet, for all that I'd done for her, for all that I'd shown her, for all that I'd given her I never once allowed myself to give her the one thing she never asked for but always deserved. The three little words that I have never said to anyone. Three little words that were in her eyes every time she looked at me. Three little words that were locked inside my heart screaming to get out. Three little words that I will never get the chance to say.

I watch as the man caresses the trigger of his semi-automatic. He has it pointed at my head and I know that there is no chance I am going to make it out of here. I want my last thoughts to be of Stephanie. I hope that she will find happiness in her life. I want nothing more than for her to go on with her life, to live and to dream, to succeed.

Out of the corner of my eye I see a movement. I can't take the chance to look, I realize I am hallucinating. The beatings I've incurred in the last forty-eight hours along with the dehydration and the sleep deprivation are making my mind play tricks on me. At least the tricks are good. I get to see her one more time. I get to die looking at her.

All of this is happening in seconds. The man pulls the trigger and I hear the sound of gun shots at the same time I hear her voice scream my name.

"Ranger!"

I feel the impact like a freight train hitting and I'm thrown across the room. I look down my body and there she is. Death isn't so bad if she is with me.

Then I notice it. Her eyes. There are tears in them, and her breath is coming in short, labored gasps. My eyes trail down her body and I see the blood spreading across her shirt. Shit! I'm not dead.

"Babe."

"Ranger..." her voice trails off. She's losing consciousness, but she's fighting it.

"Babe, hang on. You've got to hang on."

"See.... I told you.... I could....save....you."

I hear the sirens and they are close. Rangeman must have been tracking her. Thank God. Just hurry, please hurry. They had to get in here. I press my hands over the wound in her chest trying to slow the bleeding. There is so much blood. Her black Rangeman shirt is soaked through and my hands are covered in her blood.

"Shhhh," I say. "Don't talk. Save your energy, Babe."

"It's cold, Ranger. I'm.....sorry....I....took so.....long."

I watch as her eyes slide closed. I hear the voices of the paramedics as they run through the room, but I'm not paying attention. I feel her go limp in my arms.

"Babe! Babe... wake up! Come on Babe, wake up. Stay with me. Please. Stay with me... I love you, Stephanie, but Babe, you've got to fight. Please fight. Don't leave me. Please."

The paramedics are running in behind a solid wall of black, Tank, Lester and Bobby lead the way to my own little slice of Hell. Stephanie's blood is covering my hands and my naked body, mixing with my wounds. I don't acknowledge them, not because I'm not glad to see them, but because I don't know how long I will be able to hold on without losing my control.

My men see Steph and they freeze as if stopped by an invisible force. Their faces register worry, fear, and anger before shutting down. Even when the gruesome scene involves someone they love they still fall back on their training. Training dictates control, clear thinking and no emotion. Emotion can get you killed.

"Oh, shit." Is all that Tank says before the wall of black parts for the medical teams. I can feel my heart breaking but I won't let the tears come. The paramedics take her from my arms and begin working on her, while the second team begins working on me. I've forgotten about the damage I've suffered and all I can feel is the pain in my heart.

My eyes never leave her as the medics bundle me onto a stretcher. She's already on a stretcher and is being wheeled to one of the waiting ambulances. I'm being loaded into the remaining ambulance and I watch as the doors are closed and I fight with the oxygen mask they've attached to my face.

"Babe." My voice is hoarse and cracking.

"Sir. You need to relax, Sir. You've been injured. We're taking you to the hospital."

"Babe?" I manage to yank the mask of my face. "Is she going to make it?"

The world is getting dark around the edges and my eyes are getting harder to keep open. I need to know. I can't fade out yet. I need to know she will be alright.

The paramedic, a young woman with short black hair and startling green eyes places the oxygen mask back on my face as she says, "She's in good hands. We won't know anything until she gets to the hospital. You need to rest now."

I struggle to keep my eyes open but it isn't working. I know the darkness is going to take me down again even as I'm fighting it. I feel the ambulance start to move and the sound of the sirens pierce the air, and then...nothing.

_Two Days Later..._

I'm hovering somewhere just outside of myself, I can hear everything that is going on but I can't do anything about it. I can't acknowledge it. I know there is something I need to be doing right now, I can feel the urgency but I can't seem to grasp it. Every time the thought comes close, I reach out to grab it and it disappears like a ghost.

Wow, I'm tired. So incredibly tired. Since I can't remember what I need to be doing I think I'll just relax for a while, maybe take a nap. Yeah, a nap sounds good. Maybe then I will remember. Maybe then I won't be floating. I bet Steph would like to float. She is meant to fly.

It's beautiful outside today. The sky is the vibrant blue of My Babe's eyes. A smattering of fluffy white clouds lazily float by while she and I relax on the grass by the lake edge. I don't know why it has taken me so long to bring her here to Maine, but I'm glad I finally have. I can't think of a more beautiful spot than this. I realize that there are no outlet malls or Chili's restaurants here, but so far she seems to be enjoying out time together. Enjoying the quiet, the peace, the togetherness. I smile at her. A riot of daisies surround us and she is idly running her hands through them. I pick the biggest flower and tuck it in her hair, right behind her left ear. She is the most beautiful person I've ever seen. I don't know how I ever lived without her in my life. How was I even alive before her?

She is looking at me, her beautiful blue eyes twinkling in the sunlight. Her hair cascading along her shoulders, free and wild just like her. She is blushing and I can't help but lean forward and kiss her slightly parted lips. When are lips part I say, "Do you know, that in some cultures wearing flowers in your hair has the same symbolism as a ring?"

"Hmmm, really?"

I grab her hand in mine before continuing, "Yeah, Babe. If a woman wears a flower behind her right ear she is single, but if she wears it behind her left ear she is taken."

She is looking into my eyes while she considers my words. "You placed the daisy behind my left ear, Ranger. Why? I'm not taken. I don't belong to anyone. Morelli and I are off again, and this time it's real, and the only person I'd be interested in being taken by isn't interested in relationships."

I feel a momentary pain lance through my heart at her words, but I continue holding her hand and looking into her eyes when I say, "Because, Babe. You are taken. You are mine. Your heart completes me and I need you in my life. I need you to be with me, a part of me, always." I watch as her eyes widen and she inhales sharply. "I want you to spend your life with me, to experience everyday with me, to be not just my best friend, but my everything. Will you marry me and complete my soul?"

She is smiling when she says, "Yes, Ranger. Of course I will marry you and complete your soul, but we need to hurry."

I am suddenly confused. She has said yes and I should be happy, instead my nerves are strung tight. My instincts are telling me that something isn't right, and I always listen to my instincts. They have saved my life on more that one occasion. "Why the hurry, Babe?"

"Because, Ranger. If you don't wake up right now I might die. You need to wake up. Wake up, Ranger. Something isn't right. I'm scared and I need you to hold me."

"Babe!" I open my eyes and I hear the beeping of the various machines that are attached to my body. I'm laying in a hospital bed with Tank looking down at me.

"Morning, Sunshine. Glad you've decided to join us."

"Where is she?" I demand. "Is she okay?"

Tank just shakes his head. "She's here. She's been in and out of surgery several times. Right now she's in the ICU but they are cautiously optimistic of her recovery. Lester and Bobby are in there with her. They'll call me if anything changes. She hasn't been alone."

"I need to see her now." I don't know why I need to see her, other than that I want to make sure she is okay, but this feels like more than that. This feels important. I have to do this. I have to see her right now. She needs me. I try to sit up but I can't. There are wires and tubes and various other things attached to me and I'm incredibly sore. I almost forgot that I'd been tortured for two days. That doesn't matter though. I need to get to Steph. "Tank, I need to see her right now. Get me out of this bed."

Tank helps me to a sitting position and the pain attacking my body is intense. It feels like I'm being eaten alive by fire ants. I stifle a groan and grit my teeth. There is a commotion outside my room and people are rushing by and a detached female voice comes over the loud speaker. "Code Blue. Code Blue."

I look at Tank's face and it's gone pale. Shit, I don't like this. "What?"

"They're running toward Bombshell. I think she's coding." He looks down at the phone buzzing at his hip. "Shit."


	8. Ranger?

A/N: As always if you recognize the people or the places they're not mine. :)

No, this isn't the final chapter. I'm not sure how long this is going to end up being, but at this point it still isn't done. There is still more to tell of this story.

Yes, I plan on there being a HEA ending. I'm a huge sap. I like everything being tied up nice and neat.

Thank you to everyone who has commented. Your enthusiasm is great! I'm sorry I haven't been able to respond to everyone individually. RL and writing this story have been taking up a lot of time. :)

Once this story is finished I will be resuming work on "Life on the Run-- Ranger Begins" that story is essentially OFM from Ranger's point of view. I'm thinking about writing each one of the books from his POV. It's going to be a long road, but it sounds fun. :)

Anyway, thanks for sticking with me through this story. Let me know what you think. :) Who knows, you might give me an idea for a new twist in the story. :P --Sare

Chapter Seven

Tank finally has me free from the bed and the wires, and I'm dragging my IV on a pole with me while he pushes me down the hall in a wheelchair he acquired from somewhere. I hate wheelchairs on principal but even I realize that I'm in no condition to move on my own. I shouldn't be out of bed, but my need to be with Steph is far outweighing my need to heal.

I am impatient and keep glaring back at Tank, willing him to go faster. Though, if I'm honest he is moving as fast as possible without tipping me over. I can see the doctors and nurses crammed into her room as we get closer, their voices are a jumble, carrying out of the door and hitting me in the face like a loud speaker. _"Doctor, we're losing her."_ My worst fear. My heart is clenching and I shut my eyes willing her to come back to me.

_"Ready. Clear." _ I see her body lurch up from the bed as the doctors and nurses try to bring her back from the brink. Come on Babe. Come back. You've got to fight. Again the voice, "_Ready. Clear. Come on Ms. Plum. Stay with us."_ I watch as her body lurches again. Come on, Babe.

Suddenly I hear it. The machines pick up her heartbeat again. Thank God. Tank wheels me closer as the doctors and nurses begin filing out of her room. No one notices us though I'm not really sure how this is possible since Tank doesn't exactly blend into the background. He's Tank. He's a huge black man covered head to toe in black. He looks like exactly what he is. A walking, talking, killing machine. Though, when it comes to his friends he's really rather soft. He carries pictures of his kittens around in his wallet. That has to say something about the man.

Tank pushes me closer to her bed and I grab her hand. I'm careful not to disturb her wires and tubes. I need to touch her. I don't have a choice in this. Even if I wanted to stay away from her, I can't. My body seems to have a mind and will of it's own. Holding her hand I feel my heartbeat slow down for the first time since I woke up. She's alive. My heart unclenches a little more.

Out the corner of my eye I see Tank walk to the chair in the corner and sit down. Closing his eyes to give us privacy, or at least the illusion of privacy. I'm grateful. I carefully lift her hand to my mouth and brush my lips over her knuckles. Pain is rushing through my body and my ribs are protesting the movement but I ignore it. "I'm here, Babe. I'm right here." My voice is soft and even, though a little rough in my throat.

I relax back in my wheelchair as much as possible while still holding her hand. I can see bruising around her eyes, and her normally peachy skin is the color of paper. Her curly hair is plastered to her face and is missing it's customary shine. "Babe, Why?" I whisper. I know she can't answer me, I know she isn't awake, but the question is there none the less.

"Tank." I say, "Report. I want to know everything from the moment of the blast until you got to the warehouse." He sits forward in the chair pressing his fingers together beneath his chin.

"The minute your car went off grid we mobilized. It took us seven minutes to get from Rangeman to her apartment. When we arrived Morelli was already there and Steph was unconscious in his arms. You were missing.

"Morelli apparently with the thought of getting back together with Steph, arrived in time to see a man with dark hair, and dark features jump into a black econo van and take off when he pulled into the parking lot. He saw Steph on the ground, ran to her and called in the explosion. The cops were behind us by no more than a minute.

"Morelli explained what he saw, but at the time it was happening didn't realize you were missing. Apparently he figured you had just lent Steph another car."

"Why didn't he take Steph too?" I ask. "His plan was to kill her too, to torture me more."

"Our best guess is that he planned to take her but that Morelli showed up and he had to abandon that plan and just took off with you. My guess is he planned on getting her later.

"Steph regained consciousness just as the cops showed up with the ambulance behind it. First thing she said was your name, man. Pissed Morelli off something bad." I have to admit that hearing this is making my heart a little excited. I can picture the scene too. Morelli has her in his arms and she's saying my name. I'm a sick bastard to be turned on by something like that.

Tank continues, "Of course she refuses medical treatment. Especially after she realizes that you're not there. She freaks, man. Totally freaks out. She was crying and screaming your name. I thought Morelli was going to go ballistic. He was trying to hold onto her, trying to get her to calm down and she was having nothing to do with it. She was fighting with everything she had. I've never seen anything like it. Some how she managed to flip him onto the ground and knock his breath out. It was amazing."

I am both surprised and proud of My Babe for her take down, but I don't want to dwell on the fact that she appears to have been having a breakdown. I can't handle knowing I was the cause of that pain. I'm not strong enough emotionally or physically to deal with this knowledge. It's making me uncomfortable.

Tank continues, oblivious to my inner thoughts. Apparently my blank face is still working and my emotions are in check, at least visibly. "Anyway, after she takes Morelli down and refuses the ambulance and any medical treatment other than what Bobby can offer her she begins to calm down until Morelli starts in on her.

"Man, I don't know what that idiot was thinking but he made an ass out of himself. I don't think he's going to make it out of the mess he made this time. When he started in about her always getting hurt and taking chances, and where was she going with you that she needed a packed bag; I watched a change come over her. I tell you what, it was both impressive and scary as Hell. I sure don't think I'd want to be on the receiving end of that transformation. She was pure Hellfire. Yet cold as Fucking ice. He didn't stand a chance.

"She tore into him." I watch as Tank suddenly tenses and a look crosses his face before he continues, "But, I think in the grand scheme of things I should let her tell you about that little demonstration when she is ready to. I've said too much about it as it is. That's not really important and this moment anyway."

I can't believe he's not going to finish. He's going to change the subject and expect that I should wait for her to tell me? When she's ready? For Christ sake she's in a hospital bed and hasn't woken up yet. Breathe, Manoso. He's right. That isn't the important thing right now. Sure, I'm curious, but I can wait. Focus on what's important.

"So how did she get from the lot of her building to jumping in front of a bullet to save my life? And, why the HELL weren't you with her? Why wasn't she wearing a vest? Why wasn't she locked on the seventh floor protected like she should have been?" I am pissed. Up until this moment the anger hadn't surfaced, but it is here now. Why didn't my men protect her? She wouldn't be here if they had done their job. Someone better have a damn good explanation.

Tank looks down at his hands before saying, "We failed, man. She stayed on the seventh floor to sleep. When she actually would sleep which wasn't much during the forty-eight hours you were gone. She spent most of the time in the control room demanding action and doing everything in her power that she could to find you. She had us out patrolling the streets, talking to contacts, intimidating snitches. She called in favors, and browbeat anyone she had to in order to get information. Nothing helped. There was nothing out there. No word on the street. It was like you just ceased to exist. One minute you were here and the next you weren't. There was nothing to point us to where the mother fucker had taken you."

"How then, did she find me? How did she make it to that warehouse and jump in front of a bullet that was meant for me?" It is so hard listening to this, knowing where it all ends. I am angry at the fates for doing this. For putting her in that warehouse. For letting her take a bullet that was meant for me. Now she is laying in this hospital bed while I'm sitting her trying to make sense of it all. Where is the logic in this? That bullet was meant to be mine.

Tank gives me a brief smile, "Man, this is Bombshell we're talking about. It's her luck." Luck. Right. Luck that she jumped in front of a bullet with no thought to her own safety? That sure is luck, and it is all bad. "She was pulling up to the bonds office when she saw the van pulling out from the alley. She recognized it and the man behind the wheel from the description Morelli gave and decided to follow him. Sure he would lead her to you.

"We were already tracking her so when Bobby and Lester got caught in traffic and lost visual on her we still knew where she was. She followed the van to the warehouse on Stark Street and watched the guy go inside. We know this, because as she was going in she called the control room and told us what she was doing. She didn't give us a chance to saying anything just hung up after telling us she knew where you were and she was going in to get you. She knew we had a tracker on her and she told us we should get the cops and the paramedics there immediately. Said that if we screwed this up there was going to be Hell to pay.

"I notified the police and the paramedics, left Cal in charge of the control room and headed to the warehouse. Bobby and Lester were almost there and I was right on their tail. We got there at almost the same time as the paramedics and the ambulances."

My thumb is rubbing soft circles around the palm of her hand while I'm listening to the details of the worst day of my life and I'm concentrating extremely hard on breathing. Until this moment I never realized how hard it is to breathe when your heart is in your throat. I can't believe that Steph would come in without back up. Follow a psycho into an abandoned warehouse on the off chance that I might be in there. Without backup. I'm torn between being angry and wanting to kiss her. Between wanting to shake sense into her, and thanking God that she's alive.

"What happened to Alonzo?" I ask.

"Bombshell, she shot him. At least I guess she did. When we got to him he had a bullet between the eyes." I can feel my eyes go wide. How is that possible?

"Tank, how is that possible? He shot her when she launched herself at me."

"I don't know, man. I don't know. It's the only explanation I've got for you. Maybe you should ask her that when she wakes up." I notice he says when. Not if. I let out a slow breath.

"Yeah, I guess I will."

I feel her hand squeeze around mine. Not a strong squeeze, but a slight pressure. I lean as close as I can without hurting myself too much and kiss her knuckles. "Babe? I'm right here." A moan escapes her lips and then there is silence again. I can't take my eyes off her.

Even white as paper and with dark circles around her eyes she is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I love her, and as soon as I get the chance I'm going to tell her. I don't know what's going to happen, or how it's going to work but together she and I will find a way.

Why wait? Why not just tell her now? Maybe practice a little before the actual performance? Tank is still sitting in his chair across the room, but I don't care. It's a little late for nerves and worry. I'm pretty sure the men have known the way I feel about her longer than I have. Then why am I nervous? Why does it feel like seagulls are practicing for the Olympics in my stomach? Why is my heart beating so fast? Why, damn it, does saying the words scare me more than any single operation I ever worked? Why is it that these three little words are more terrifying than knowing I was going to die?

Simple, Manoso. These three little words mean everything. They mean everything you feel for her. Everything you've ever done for her, will ever do for her. They are the most powerful words in the world. Countries have crumbled because of these words. Wars have been fought because of these words. When you say these words your life is never going to be the same. The future will be changed.

I take a steadying breath. I release it slowly, concentrating on calming my heart, centering my body. I rub my cheek against her hand and softly say, "I love you, Babe. With all my heart. No qualifications. Forever."

My heart stops when I hear her voice, soft and weak. "Ranger?"


	9. You Brought Me Roses?

A/N: If you recognize it, then it isn't mine. :) I'm expecting no more than another chapter or two until the story is finished.

Thank you for all your comments. :) Like always, let me know what you think.--Sare

Chapter Eight

My heart is beating wildly. She's awake. Thank God, she is finally awake. "I'm right here, Babe." I feel the pain in my side as my ribs protest the movement, and the stitches in my shoulder pull. I ignore it. She's awake.

"Ranger...you're...okay. Good..." I can tell it's hard for her to speak. Her throat is sounding rough. I reach over and grab the glass of water from the table and place to straw to her lips.

"Hush, Babe. Drink." I look over at Tank, "Let the Doctor know she's awake." He nods and leaves the room. She stops drinking and I place the glass back on the table.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to get to you." Her voice is stronger, but a tear rolls silently down her cheek. "I was so worried about you." Another tear. "I couldn't find you." More tears cascade down her cheeks.

"Babe. You need to rest." I am on the edge. I feel my heart breaking over her tears. I also feel this pressure deep inside my heart. I love her. I almost lost her. Thank God she is still alive. "Plenty of time later."

"But...I need to tell you..."

"Shhhh." I kiss her very gently on the lips stopping her from speaking. The door opens and the doctor walks in with Tank on his heels.

The doctor is one of mine. A large man, who looks like he would be equally comfortable in a third world country as in a hospital. His red hair is shorter than mine, but is long enough to brush the collar of his white coat, and his blue eyes are friendly and open. At least when he wants them to be. His white coat has Dr. Seamus embroidered above the right breast pocket thanks to Ella and it is straining against his muscles.

He is on call for all Rangeman emergencies and has seen Steph a few times before. I find it is always a good thing to have a doctor on retainer in my line of work. Especially so with Steph as an on again off again employee. Her employment status is a lot like her relationship with Morelli. Back and forth. I hope to change this. Make her a more permanent part of the Rangeman family.

"Ah, welcome to the world of the living Ms. Plum. You gave us quite a few bad moments there the last couple of days." Seamus says to her, his voice lilting with a hint of the Irish brogue from his homeland.

Stephanie just looks at him. Worry is crossing her features. She hates hospitals and I know that being here is freaking her out. "What do you mean?" She finally asks.

"Well, Ms. Plum"

"Steph. You've patched me up more than once before Seamus. Call me Steph." She says on a sigh.

Seamus grins at her and says, "Okay, Steph. Here's the deal. You were shot in the back at close range. The bullet tore through your left side, barely missing your lung and your heart. You were incredibly lucky. A millimeter difference in any direction and your condition would be a lot worse.

"However, there were some complication after your surgery and you coded on us. Obviously we were able to bring you back—but you gave everyone a scare. And I do mean everyone, because this man right here" He points his thumb at me. "isn't in bed where he should be. He's been sitting next to you, holding your hand since we stabilized you."

He gives me a dark look. "You, I will deal with later." Shit. I ignore him and look back at Steph. Her eyes are getting heavy and I can tell she's losing the battle to stay awake. Seamus continues, "Now Steph, I'm going to go 'head and give you some pain medicine and some antibiotics through your IV. They're going to make you sleep." She's shaking her head at him, but he ignores her. "The best thing for you right now is to get some sleep. You need rest to heal. So relax."

Steph's eyes lock on mine and she squeezes my hand in hers. "Ranger." She says, "Stay." I rub my thumb across her knuckles before bringing them to my lips.

"Not going anywhere, Babe." I feel her relax and watch her eyes slide close before I turn my eyes toward Seamus.

"Manoso, you shithead. What are you doing out of bed? You are in no shape to be up. What the Hell are you thinking?" Yeah. He's pissed. He's going to have to deal.

"I am thinking that I need to be here. So I'm here. You might want to get us a private room together because if you want me in a bed that is the only way it's going to happen. I'm not leaving her side." He knows I'm not kidding, but that doesn't stop his sigh.

"Fine. If that will get you to stay in bed so that you can heal, consider it done."

"'Preciate it." I say to him as I close my eyes. I hear the door open.

"It's happened, hasn't it Manoso?" I open my eyes. He's standing with the door open and is looking at me like he knows my deepest secrets, and he understands. Maybe he does. I don't even pretend to not understand his question.

I nod my head and say, "Yeah. Yeah, it has."

He closes the door back and walks over to me, rolling over the doctor stool his sits in front of me. "How long?" He asks.

"Since the day I met her. Only I just now understand." I sigh and shake my head.

"Thought as much. Good luck. I can honestly say I don't think your life will be boring." With that and a smile he gets up and walks out the door.

I close my eyes before saying, "Go, Tank. I'm good here. Get some sleep. Check back tomorrow." He doesn't say anything, but I know he nods in acknowledgment. I hear the door close and I drop into sleep.

_One week later..._

Steph and I are laying in our individual hospital beds, with our hands entwined. I haven't been away from her since she woke up. The nurses moved our beds closer together because they kept finding us together in her bed. She needs to be touched and I need to touch. At night I still end up in her bed. It's getting easier for me to move and Seamus is planning on releasing us soon. I'm already well enough to go home, but he's kept me over for evaluation. Mostly I think it's just to annoy me because he knows I hate hospitals and it's his form of payback. I don't mind though because I'd be here anyway. As long as Steph is here, so am I.

Morelli chooses this moment to stroll into our "suite". His eyes take in the arrangement of the room. They take in the fact that our beds are pushed as close together as possible, that our fingers are entwined. Emotions fly across his face and I see them all. Fear, concern, love, and anger before he closes down. He's slammed down his shield.

He's brought her flowers. Roses. Not for the first time I wonder how a guy who has known her practically her entire life, doesn't know her at all. One of life's unexplainable mysteries I guess. Not my problem.

Ignoring me he steps around my bed to her. She's awake and watching him. On the outside she looks calm, but I feel her hand tense in mine. "Hello, Joe."

"Cupcake. How are you feeling?" He steps closer to her, but doesn't touch her. This is fine with me. I'd rather he never touch her again.

"Like I got shot in the chest, Joe. That's how I'm feeling." It's hard not to smile when the Jersey girl annoyance comes through. I don't envy him. "Why are you here Joe? Why now?"

"Cupcake, I wanted to make sure you are alright. I've miss you. Bob misses you." Steph's hand twitches in mine and I rub circles around her palm. I'd like nothing more than to punch Morelli in the face, but this isn't my battle and Steph wouldn't approve of me protecting her on this. So I remain silent.

"So, it's been what—over a week now, and you're just now checking to make sure I'm alright? You must have been _real_ concerned about my well being; since you rushed right over here and all."

"Well, Cupcake, I figured you had more than enough people parading around. I wanted to make sure you had time to rest. I called the hospital daily to check on your condition." Joe sounds serious. I don't doubt it. He cares about her and that has always been obvious.

"It's fine, Joe. I'm fine. In fact, I'm more than fine. I'm getting released in a few days and then I can begin to put my life back together. Though, I think I will start right now. No real reason to wait until I'm discharged." Steph takes a deep breath and I see a nerve ticking in Morelli's jaw. What is she doing?

"I've had a lot of time to think since I've been in this hospital bed and I've come to some conclusions. First, I'm never going to be the perfect little Burg wife. I'm never going to want to stay at home raising children, cleaning house and cooking. I'm not saying I don't ever want children, or that there isn't a chance that someday I might want to get married, just that when I do it isn't going to be done to the standards of the Burg.

"Second of all, I like what I do. At least for the most part. Sure I roll around in things better left unknown, and I get shot at on occasion, and yeah, okay crazy people tend to stalk me; but I still like the feeling I get knowing that I'm doing something. I make a difference. Even if it's just a small difference. Even if it's on accident. I have no intention of giving up my job."

I'm watching this scene play out in front of me and I'm honestly not sure what I'm feeling. I'm not sure what she's even doing. Is she cutting ties with him? Or is she giving him terms and conditions to get back together? Please don't let it be that.

Morelli's tick is getting worse. My guess is he's not liking where this is going. I'm not sure I am either actually. What if she doesn't want to be with me either? What if marrying me is the farthest thing from her mind? Don't worry about it Manoso. Take it slow. Take what she is willing to give.

She continues, "Joe, you haven't been happy with me for a long time. You can't handle my friendship or my partnership with Ranger. You want to keep me locked in a little box under your bed to make sure I stay safe. You constantly get bent out of shape whenever Ranger helps me, or when I help him."

Okay, really not enjoying being discussed while I'm stuck here in this hospital bed. Especially since I am holding her hand. I'm still rubbing gentle circles around her palm, and it soothes me as much as her. She hasn't even raised her voice. I'm proud of her, even while I'm terrified of what she is doing.

Morelli interrupts her now speaking as if I'm not in the room, and maybe to him I'm not. I know first hand how easy it is to forget the outside world when you're looking into Steph's eyes. When you're in her world. "Cupcake, of course I worry about you. I love you. I don't want you to get hurt, but I've never put you in a box. You're right, I do get bent out of shape when you help him, but that's because he's dangerous. What do you really know about him? He walks a tightrope with the law. Everything he does is just this side of shady. " He runs his hands through his hair in frustration.

"Look how many times you've been hurt because you know him. You've been kidnapped and now, now, you've been shot because of him. Why?" His voice is beginning to raise and I feel Steph begin to tense. "Why," he continues, "did you jump in front of a bullet to save him?"

Even though Morelli's voice is getting louder, My Babe's remains soft. She looks at him and I see sadness cross her face and a tear escapes from her beautiful blue eyes. "Because, Joe. He helps me fly." She turns and looks at me and continues, " He's put his life on the line for me more times than I can count. He's done the same thing for me. He took a bullet when he saved me from Scrog. I did what I needed to do."

Morelli looks like he wants to break something. I don't blame him. If I were on the receiving end of this conversation I'd want to break something too. Instead my heart feels like it's in my throat. Hearing her words fills me with...something. Awww, maybe?

"There has always been something between you two. Something that I can't seem to beat. And you know what Cupcake, I'm getting tired of trying. I'm tired of seeing you breakdown when something happens to him. Or worrying about him when he's gone. I don't think I can keep ignoring how you constantly choose him over me. Even now."

He looks pointedly at our entwined fingers and I notice that Steph isn't denying anything that he is saying. My heart seems to be beating louder and I'm amazed that no one is hearing it. I feel like I really shouldn't be here for this conversation, but I have no choice, and honestly I don't want to be anywhere else. I want to be where I need to be. I need to be where she is. Where she needs me to be.

" I'm sorry, Joe. You deserve someone who can be the woman you want and need. Someone who you won't have to worry about all the time. Someone who doesn't cause you to buy stock in antacids. I'm not that girl, Joe. I'm the girl you're friends with. The girl you eat pizza, drink beer and watch a game with. I'm not the girl you marry and raise babies with.

"You've been a part of my life for as long as I can remember and yet, you don't know me. I'm not sure we really know each other."

"Cupcake, I know you. I know you better than anyone."

"Do you, Joe? Really? Then why would you bring me roses?"

Wow. She said it. She said what I've been thinking. The shock on Morelli's face would be priceless if it wasn't so genuinely sad. I can see in his eyes the reality setting in.

"You don't like roses? I thought every girl liked roses." He looks confused.

"I'm not every girl, Joe. I'm the girl who used to jump off the roof trying to fly. I'm the girl who played choo choo with you in your father's garage when I was six. I'm the girl who rolls around in garbage while chasing down guys who belong in jail. I'm not a roses kind of girl." She seems sad when she is saying this. I want to hold her, but I can't do more than hold her hand. This is killing me. And what is this about playing choo choo with him? I'm going to have to ask her about that later.

"Sometimes, Joe, it's best to just accept what we can't change and move on. It's past time for us. We've been friends more than anything else. Lets focus on that. Be my friend, Joe."

I watch as Morelli realizes that it really is over. I'm shocked too. It's been going on for so long that I never really thought it would end. I wanted it to. I hoped it would. I hoped that I would someday be enough for her. Maybe now I will be.

He looks at me and there is no longer anger in his eyes. A little sadness maybe, but no anger. I see him nod his head at me and the unspoken words rang loud and clear between us. _You win. Take care of her._

"Okay, Cupcake. I'll be your friend. I'm sorry it didn't work out. I really am. I'll always love you, you know."

A single tear glides down her cheek, "I know, Joe. I know." Without another word Joe walks away, taking the roses with him.

I release the railings that separate us, and slowly slide toward her on the bed. I wrap my arms around her and hold her close, my cheek resting on her head. I kiss her hair and say the only thing I can say, "Proud of you, Babe."

Looks like the nurses are going to find us in bed together again. Oh, well.


	10. Home

A/N: Okay, here is chapter nine. Looks like the story might be a little longer than I intended. There are still some issues that need to be worked out, questions that need to get answered between Steph and Ranger. I'm trying to get a chapter a day done and so far I'm doing okay. :)

As always I don't own Steph, Ranger or the Merry Men except the ones you don't recognize. The characters in the Plum universe are all created and owned by JE.

I'd really like to know what you think of the chapter and the story so far. I can only get better when people give me feed back. :) SO yeah, let me know what you think.

Sare

Chapter Nine

The sun is shining brightly outside as Tank helps load Steph into the Escalade. We've finally been discharged from the hospital, after promising Seamus that we will take it easy and not over exert ourselves. He's more worried about Steph, than about me. My injuries are mostly healed, though there is still some tenderness where I was whipped.

After Morelli's visit I spent the night holding Steph in my arms. Amazingly, aside from the single tear that had rolled down her cheek, she hadn't cried anymore. When the nurses came in complaining about us sharing a bed, she gave them a look that said everything.

I asked her that night if she would come back to my apartment on seven, and without hesitation she said yes. She asked no questions, and I gave her no reasons. I relaxed after that. Having listened to everything that she and Morelli said to each other, and knowing that it was finally over between them I found that I was more relaxed than I ever remember having been before.

Now that we're actually heading home, I'm nervous. My nerves feel frayed and I'm honestly terrified. I know that it is time to talk about everything that happened. I know Steph needs answers to the questions that are plaguing her. She deserves to know. I've put off answering the questions because I'm not sure I'm strong enough to make it through answering them without falling apart. I've spent all of my life hiding emotion, being in control that now I'm not sure how to stop.

What happens when I tell her about my past, the past that got her shot? What will she say when she hears about how I left Alonzo in that prison? What will she think of Batman then? What if my reasons for not bringing home his body for a proper burial aren't good enough for her? Will she stop looking at me like I'm a superhero? Will she look at me and those beautiful eyes mirror her disgust at me?

I have no choice. The time for secrets is long past. If I'm going to have the life with her that I envision, she needs to know me. Not just what I allow her to see, but everything. All the dark corners of who I am...Damn. I'd rather spend a year in the deepest jungles of a third world country. I'd rather take on a hundred full armed insurgents than face the horror on her face. Deal with in Manoso. Just deal with it.

I'm so lost in my own thoughts that I haven't realized that we've pulled into the garage at Haywood. Steph is looking up at me, her head still resting on my chest, waiting for me to come out of my zone.

"Ranger." She places her hand on my cheek, and I'm oddly glad that I shaved this morning before leaving the hospital.

"Babe?" I'm trapped in her eyes.

"We're home."

Home. She called it home. My heart has literally jumped into my throat and taken up residence there. Shit. I mean....damn.....shit. This is what I want, but wow. I'm terrified. Shit. I help her adjust herself so she can remove her seat belt and I climb out of the backseat, walk around the back of the Escalade and open her door helping her down from the seat.

I gently kiss her forehead before leading her toward the elevator. Tank has unloaded the little luggage we have with us and is bringing up the rear as we step on and the doors silently slide shut behind us. When we reach seven I key open the door leading her inside before dropping my keys into the silver dish on the sideboard. Tank sets down the luggage, give me a nod and turns to head out.

"Glad you're both back." He says, before shutting the door behind him.

"Wow." Steph says. I just lift an eyebrow and wait for her to continue. "We're actually alone. There are no monitors, no nurses and doctors coming to check on us. We can actually sleep tonight without being woken up every few hours by someone checking our vitals." She shakes her head and smiles at me, "How will we ever manage?"

I can't help it. I feel my lips tilt at the corners and I pull her close burying my face in her hair. "Babe." I sigh and move away, "Lets get you onto the couch and get you comfortable. I'll have Ella bring lunch up."

Thirty minutes later Ella's brought up the food, and Steph is licking the remaining chocolate off her fork. A look of pure bliss on her face. I had a few rough moments when she'd moan over the cake, but I managed to control my reactions. I've never known someone to enjoy food so much. I'm almost embarrassed to watch her eat, not because it's disgusting, or even embarrassing. It just seems like such a private thing. Food to her is like a sexual experience for all involved.

She puts down her fork and pushes away her plate. "I love Ella." She sighs happily.

"Come here," I say. "Lets watch a movie and relax."

She grins at me, "Okee dokee." Sometimes she surprises me with the things she says. I've heard her swear like guys in the military, and then in the next moment she'll say something like 'okee dokee'. It's amazing. She is a complete contradiction, and I don't want her any other way.

I adjust myself on the couch so that I'm laying on my side with my back up against the cushioned back, leaving room for her to snuggle against my chest. When she's settled in I press the power on the remote, turning on the Ghostbusters DVD that I placed in the player before lunch. I know that we need to talk, but I want to relax with her. I want to feel her against me, safe in my arms. In my home. With me. I know before too long she'll demand the answers to her questions, and I will answer them.

It is dark in the apartment, the only light is coming from the TV. Apparently sometime during Ghostbusters we had fallen asleep. Now the movie is over and the screen has gone black and there is a little DVD emblem bouncing from corner to corner, back and forth.

I shift slightly, tightening my arm around the still sleeping form of the most important person in my life. The bruises are gone from around her eyes finally, and her skin no longer has the pallor of death. Her curls tickle my nose as I breathe in the scent that is completely her. Peaches and fresh rain. She moans in my arms, a groggy sound, not one of pain. Her blue eyes open and see awareness in them. Awareness of our closeness, of the beating of my heart, the sound of my breathing. I can almost hear her internal monologue. I see the moment she comes to a decision, and I feel dread settle in my stomach.

"Babe..." I begin, hoping to postpone the moment where I have to tell her about the monster inside of me. I press my lips to hers, dragging my tongue along her bottom lip, asking her to open for me. To let me in. When her lips part my tongue dips inside lightly caressing hers. I don't intend for the kiss to be any deeper, I just needed to taste her.

When I finally pull away we're both breathing heavy, and I have to concentrate to slow my heart rate. There is desire in her eyes, the blue is darkened with her need. I know that my eyes have mirrored hers. I sigh. I can't do this. As much as I want to, I can't ignore the fact that there are things she needs to know. She deserves to know. I can't blanket over it with passion and sex. This is going to be a long night.

I tuck her back into my arms resting her head on my chest. "Babe, we need to talk." I feel her tense against me. Smooth Manoso. "There are some things I need to tell you, and I'm sure you've got questions running around in your head that you deserve answers to. I owe those answers to you." I pause, kissing her hair. "When I'm done telling you, if you want to go back to your apartment, or to your parents' house I'll make sure you get there."

I feel her nod her head against my chest. Shit. The silence in the room is deafening. Steph is silent, waiting. I'm silent, wishing for divine intervention, or barring that a way to begin to tell her of my darkness.

"When I joined the Army, I was nothing more than a punk ass kid who'd done and tried everything. I was on my way to becoming a really unproductive member of society. I was one stupid decision away from experiencing our penal system as an adult. The judge gave me a choice. Serve Uncle Sam, or have an all expense paid vacation at one of the razor wire resorts.

"It was a wake up call and I realized I didn't want to become another statistic from the streets. I chose the Army. I walked into the recruiter's office, signed my name on the dotted line and shipped out the next morning.

"I've never been good at showing emotions, or expressing my feelings so military bearing came naturally to me. Boot camp gave me the direction and routine that my life had been missing.

"There was this big guy in my platoon, he was quiet and kept to himself. We got buddied up during training and together we made it through. At times during our training we were sure it couldn't get any worse, and then it would. Then we'd pick each other back up again. I tell you, he was an unstoppable force when he was determined."

I feel Steph lift her head and look at me. A smile crosses her lips, "Tank?"

I smile in return, "Yeah. Tank."

She snuggles back into my chest and I hear her say, "Go on, please."

"Once we finished training we were sent to our first command, and actually stationed together. Within six months Tank and I were accepted into the Ranger school. If we thought boot camp was bad, it was nothing compared to Airborne school and RIP."

Steph doesn't move, but I hear her ask, "RIP?"

"RIP is short for Ranger Indoctrination Program. It used to be a three week training course, but in the last few years they've added on a fourth week to it. Essentially RIP is designed to weed out those who do not truly have the physical or mental capabilities to serve in the 75th Ranger Regiment. The training curriculum is specifically designed to "smoke" the trainees through endless punishment via constant physical training.

"It was the longest three weeks of our lives. Tank and I pulled each other through it out of sheer force of will. When we graduated and we received our berets and scrolls we felt like we were on top of the world. He and I headed back to Florida on leave before we checked into the regiment, and that's where I met Rachel, but you already know that story."

"It explains why you chose Tank to be your right hand man. You and he have built up a trust that few people ever have for another person. He's your best friend, and your brother. I'm glad that you found each other." I'm not sure why, but what she says makes my mouth go dry. I guess I never really put it into words before, but like always she seems to see more than others do. She is able to see beneath the surface to what lies beneath. "

She is silent now, waiting for me to continue with my story. "Tank, Lester, and Bobby have been part of my "team" since we arrived at the regiment. They stood by me mission after mission. They dealt with me when I found out that Rachel was pregnant, and put me in my place when I was pissed at the world, pissed at myself for getting a girl I barely knew pregnant.

"There were two other guys on my team. Best friends, like Tank and I. Garrett was a fun loving guy, similar to the rest of us. He was a Ranger, through and through. Being a Ranger was his life. Just like it was Tanks, Lester's, Bobby's, and mine. We enjoyed going into the jungles of remote third world countries. We enjoyed blending in with the shadows, and killing with silence. We did what we did because we believed in it, and because we were good at it.

"None of us were interested in relationships, our lives were the job. We all enjoyed the comforts of a beautiful woman, providing she didn't expect anything more than a night. We were young, strong, and we thought we were unstoppable.

"We did this for years. Mission after mission. Then, one day our luck ran out and we realized too late that we weren't unstoppable."

Steph's hand is slowly traveling up and down my chest as I tell her my story. So far, it's going okay, but I know this won't last. I can already feel her curiosity growing. She's noticed I haven't named the last member of my team, and damn if I don't want to leave that name unsaid.

"Garrett's best friend, Alonzo, wasn't like the rest of us. He was doing his time and getting out. His girl was waiting for him back in Washington State and she was pregnant. They planned on a spring wedding. We had one last mission to do before he got out and the rest of us re-upped out contracts. One last mission in Afghanistan." Stephanie is tense beside me, but is trying to relax. Her hand is still lazily traveling up and down my chest. I can feel her emotions, even without looking I can tell there is worry, and fear flashing across her face. I've never opened up about this to anyone before, and I really don't want to be doing this now. I'm not built to be open. I feel panic lick at me and I ruthlessly push it back, close it off behind the steel doors of my control.

"We were given intel that a US General was selling military weapons to insurgents." I feel her sharp intake of breath. "Now, remember, this is all before nine eleven. Before the US even realized that we had a problem with the middle east. As far as the general population of the US knew we were still at peace with them.

"We camped out in the mountain terrain for two weeks waiting for the shipment to pass through the valley below us. One night, we were ambushed. We mobilized immediately and managed to take out the insurgents. The body count was high, but none of us were injured.

"Suddenly we were hit with a combination flash grenade and a fast acting knockout gas. When we woke up we were inside a giant pit." Steph sucks in another breath and her hand stills on my chest. "The only light we had was the sunlight or moonlight that came in through the bars in the ceiling. That's how we kept track of the days.

"We were there a week before the torture started. Everyone was expecting me to lead them out of Hell and I was barely able to function. Everyday we did what we could to keep our strength, to stay in shape, to keep our muscles from dying from lack of use. There were days that were so bad that we could do nothing but lay motionless on the floor." I feel her hand grip my shirt. She hasn't said anything, hasn't made another sound, but her hand is in a death grip on my shirt. I stroke her back, up and down trying to relax her. I'm surprised she hasn't said anything yet. Steph doesn't deal well with quiet, but then again I'm saying enough for both of us. She's probably in shock that Batman actually talks. I do a mental head shake. Funny Manoso. You made a joke. Shit, I am so tired. Just get through it.

"On the twenty-first day our captors took both Alonzo and me out. This wasn't how they normally did it. Normally they would remove us one at a time and only bring us back when we were too broken to move." My voice sounds dead, even to my ears.

"Ranger," Steph says, "You don't need to tell me. It's okay. You don't have to face it again. You shouldn't face it again." There are tears in her eyes, but they haven't fallen yet. She sits up and places her hand on my cheek, leans in and kisses my lips. Not with passion, but with understanding.

"Babe..." She's giving me a way out, but I know I can't accept it now. I've gone too far already and I need to finish it. Heaven help me. "I need to tell you this. You deserve to know why you got shot saving my life, and whose life you took saving me."

She nods, then says, "Okay, Ranger."

Before I continue I sit up, and place my feet flat on the floor. She leans against my side and I pull her close. Touching her brings me comfort, and right now I need that comfort. I need to feel her pulse beating, smell that scent that is only hers. "That day, they took us outside to a dirt circle surrounded by razor wire fencing. They chained me to a pole. They made me watch them chain Alonzo up on a crucifix. They forced me to watch as they beat him and tortured him. The things they did to him, no human should ever experience. When I tried to turn away because I was too weak to watch anymore they held my head in place, forcing me to watch it all.

"I was so weak that while they were torturing him, I was throwing up. I couldn't save him, all I could do was watching while his eyes begged me to help him." I'm fighting back the tears, fighting to keep my control. I'm almost done. Keep control Manoso. I can't look at Steph, if I do I will break. I can't bear to see the shame...the disgust on her face. "It wasn't even about him. It was about me. About what I wouldn't tell them. I would not, could not tell them our mission, or what intel we had. So they tortured him in front of me. They wanted me to see the pain they would wield, what they would do to someone who was mine.

"When they finally felt they had tortured me enough, when they had finally broken me, they served the coup de gras. They shot him three times in the chest at close range." I have to take a breath. I'm finding it harder and harder to breathe. I run my hands through my hair, wanting nothing more that to tear it out. Instead I continue, "With my weapon that they'd confiscated when we were captured.

"I watched them take his body off the crucifix and toss him like garbage into the gutter. They laughed as they walked away, leaving me hanging on that pole staring at the hole where my friend, my brother was tossed. I prayed for him while I was tied there. Prayed for his soul, for his unborn child. I vowed that I would get the rest of my team out, that his death would not be in vain. Then, I began to plan."

I finally look over at Steph, there is no revulsion on her face. Tears are running down her cheeks and there is pain in her eyes. Her lip is bleeding where she has gnawed through it with her teeth. My heart is breaking. I didn't want to cause her pain. "Babe.." I begin. Suddenly she launches herself at me, amazing really because of how much pain she must be in. She is still healing from the gunshot wound and her motion is still slow.

She is crying and clinging to me. Her tears are no longer silent but are huge wracking sobs that tear my heart. "Shhh, Babe. Please don't cry." I rub my hands up and down her back, feeling her tears soak through my shirt, her hands clinging to me in a death grip. To have her in my arms is heaven, even though I'm going through hell and taking her with me.

When her tears finally slow she leans away from me and looks in my eyes, "You could have died. You were beaten and tortured. You almost died. I almost lost you.... I almost lost you....and I never even told you how I feel about you. You almost died and I have wasted all this time, all these moments I could have been with you..."

She isn't really making a whole lot of sense. She didn't even know me when this was going on. Oh. Shit, Manoso. She's comparing the two. She's thinking about this time. Fuck. Why didn't I think that she would correlate the two? My Babe is Queen of Denial Land, but when it's staring her in the face she doesn't have a way to put the blinders on. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"All this time I've been jumping back and forth, running back to Joe even when I knew it would never work, has never worked. I've wasted it. You could have died. You almost _did_ die." She is no longer looking at me, but has placed her head back on my chest. I notice that she is rambling, talking to herself the way she does when she's thinking out loud. My guess is she doesn't even realize she's doing it.

"My God! What an idiot I am. Way to go Stephanie, way to almost lose the _best_ thing that has ever happened to you. Way to lie to yourself trying to convince yourself that he's not the world to you, that he doesn't hold your heart, your soul. Way to keep from him the very fact that he helps you fly, and that you are in love with him. Who cares if he doesn't feel the same, if he doesn't do relationships, doesn't want to put a ring on your finger. He could have _died _and he would never have known. Way to go." She takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out. "Fuck. Shit. Piss."

My heart just jumped into my throat. Could I really be that lucky? I'm the _best_ thing that's ever happened to her? "Babe?"

Silence.

I run my hands down her back again, kissing the top of her head. I try again, "Babe?"

She sighs,"I said that out loud didn't I?"

A smile twitches across my face, "Yeah, Babe."

I feel, more than hear her gulp. "Shit."


	11. Playing Dirty

**A/N: Sorry it's taken a few days to update. I had finals to finish in RL. :( This is a little shorter than some of the others, and no it isn't the last chapter but I thought it ended pretty well. :) What do you think?**

**I've already begun work on Chapter eleven and hope to have it posted tomorrow. We're getting close to the end of the story and I appreciate all the comments, and the adding to your favorites you guys have been doing! You're awesome!**

**As always, the characters who you recognize from the Plumverse are not mine. They're just visiting. Hope you enjoy this. Let me know! --Sare  
**

Chapter Ten

It's been several minutes since Steph realized she had spoken out loud, and I'm lost in thought. There is still so much I need to tell her. Things she needs to know in order for her to heal from this horror. I'd like to never have to talk about Alonzo again, but I know I don't have a choice.

"Babe," I say. She lifts her head from my shoulder and looks up at me.

"Yeah?" Her cheeks are still wet from her tears, her nose is running and she is breathing in quick gasps. Embarrassment is waring with another emotion. The emotion looks like...worry.

"Don't worry about it. We can talk about that when you feel more comfortable about it."

She nods her head and blows out a breath. Running her hands through her hair she looks into my eyes again, "So, obviously you got the rest of your team out. What happened next? I'm assuming you took care of the General." I don't say anything, I just continue to look at her. Apparently that wasn't enough because I felt her back stiffen before she said, "Riiight? I mean, seriously you had to. I can't imagine you _not_ going after him and making sure it was taken care of.

" I would guess that being that you were black ops your mission wasn't talked about. When everything went to Hell they left you there and pretended you didn't exist, right? Please tell me that scum isn't still alive."

To say I'm shocked is an understatement. She wants me to have killed someone? "No, Babe. He's not still alive. We got back to the states and took care of it. Quietly. Then we got out."

Questions are flying across her face but she settles on one, "We?"

"Tank, Bobby, Lester, and I. We were due to re-enlist, but after that we decided it wasn't happening. We were done being owned by a government who would abandon us and then would give a hero's funeral to the man responsible for U.S. Soldiers, and civilians being killed."

"He was responsible for Alonzo too. Did Alonzo get a hero's funeral as well?"

I rub a hand over my heart. Here it is. I feel like I'm walking to the gallows. "No. His body never made it back to the states with us."

"I'm sorry." She says.

What? Why? "Babe?"

"I'm sorry you had to go through that. Had to leave your friend's body behind. I'm sure you did everything you could do." Her belief in me is astounding. Most people would freak out, but then again My Babe isn't most people. There is no one like her.

"I tried. When we escaped we tore that place apart looking for him. We never found his body. There was nothing else we could do, so we got out.

"I kept my promise though. I've done everything I can for his family. I set up a college fund for Alonzo's child. A girl. Her name is Mackenzie. She'll never want for things. She's got a good family now. I just wish Alonzo could have seen her.

" A few years ago Garrett married Mackenzie's Momma. Her name is Kristy. Garrett got out before we did. He'd lost his best friend on that mission and he was discharged. Before the ink was dry he was living in Washington State taking care of Kristy and her unborn child. They have three kids now."

"Ranger, you've done so much. Why do you sound like you're still blaming yourself?"

Why am I? Aside from the fact that Alonzo was still alive? "Guilt is a powerful thing, Babe. Though, I didn't realize I was still carrying it around with me until I was being tortured. He made me realize that it was my fault that he'd lost everything. That all his dreams and plans were taken away when I wasn't able to save him. When I left him in that prison."

Steph inhales sharply, "He?"

"Yeah...He. Alonzo."

"_WHAT!?" _Hard to tell what emotion she's feeling, but it's obviously a loud emotion. "How is that possible. You watched him die. They _shot him_. It isn't possible. Is it?" I'm afraid that if she doesn't breathe she's going to pass out.

"Babe. Take a breath." I tell her.

She takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out. It reminds me of how I release my breath when I'm trying to find my center. Maybe she's starting to find her center. Or maybe I'm just crazy. Yeah. Probably just crazy. "Apparently when they left him in the ditch he wasn't dead. Once they tossed me back into the cell they removed him from the ditch, healed him, and began beating and torturing him again. At least, until we burned the prison to the ground."

"If he was still there how come you couldn't find him?" She asks me.

"I don't know. We looked everywhere. Of course we were looking for his body, not him alive."

"So, what? He decided to find you and seek his revenge on something you had no control of? You thought he was dead. You saw him killed. It isn't like you knew he was breathing and walked away leaving him.

"What, was he _crazy_?" Her exasperation makes me grin in spite of the horror of the whole situation.

"Yeah, you could say that." I pull her close to me again and kiss her hair. "He blamed me for taking away his life. His future. Felt that I left him to rot there because he wasn't worthy. When he got back to the states he searched for me. Eventually, he was able to find me and decided that he would do to me what was done to him. He was going to make me feel the pain of losing everything that was important to me. Then he was going to kill me.

"A few weeks before I was—for want of a better word, kidnapped, RangeMan was notified that my background was being looked into. At first I assumed it was Morelli looking for something to use against me. Something to finally make you realize that I'm not a good guy."

"Ranger..." I place my finger over her lips.

"No, Babe. Let me finish." I can tell she wants to argue so I say, "Please."

She just nods her head.

"I quickly realized that it wasn't Morelli. He's too _cop_ to dig into my background through unorthodox means. He's a good guy. He'd go through the proper channels and wouldn't find anything I didn't want him to find. So, I knew it had to be someone else. Someone with knowledge of what I'm capable of. We couldn't find anything to tell us who though. Every lead we followed lead us nowhere.

"I started keeping my distance from you, I didn't know what was going on so I couldn't control it. I didn't want to bring you into that. I didn't want you to get hurt. _I_ didn't want to get hurt. Then you called me, and here we are." Steph's face flashes with anger. Oh shit. What?

"_You_ didn't want to get hurt?" Shit. She latched on to _that_ phrase? Fuck. "What, so you think that because I'm danger-prone that you would get hurt? You're _Ranger_. You're freaking _Batman_ for crying out loud and you were keeping your distance because you were afraid _you'd_ get hurt if you were around me? Are you _KIDDING _me?" Uhh shit. Not what I meant.

"Babe..."

"No. Don't you _Babe_ me. I can't believe you." She's going into full Rhino mode and I can see it happening. It's a scarily impressive sight to see. Not that I'm thrilled with being on the receiving end of it. I need to fix this. Shit. This is why I don't do relationships. I'm no good with this shit.

"Babe..." I see that I'm not going to be able to talk her down yet so I do the only thing that I know how to do. I play dirty. Wrapping my arms around her I bind her against my chest and kiss her. Putting everything I've been feeling into the kiss. I feel her tense body relax, melting against me. My tongue traces her lips and she opens them on a moan.

When I first kissed her I had no plan to take it further, but I'm unable to stop. I'm tight with need, with want. I need to taste her, to feel her. I pick her up in my arms and take her into my room, placing her in the center of the bed. My lips never leaving hers.

It takes seconds for me to remove her shirt, kissing my way along her exposed flesh. Trailing kisses down her jaw, her neck, her shoulders. Her breath is coming out in short pants and I can feel her shiver. I feel her struggle, not to get away, but to remove my shirt, my pants. I bracelet her wrists in my hand and hold her arms above her head while I continue my exploration.

I love to kiss her. I love it a lot. I'm an extremely physical person, touch is a major sense for me and I have never been able to control myself from touching her. My body craves it like it craves air, food, water.

I focus attention on her nipples. They pebble under my touch. When she is moaning I continue my exploration down. It's been too long since I was able to touch her like this. Too many long nights since I claimed my price. I should never have made that deal, but I can't go back and I won't regret having been with her. I _do_ regret sending her back to Morelli though. But, that's over. I won't make that mistake again.

I'm trailing kisses along her waist as I slide her sweats over her hips, pulling them off her legs without breaking contact from her body. When my kisses land on her pelvis she arches her hips up. Everything I want is right her, ready for my taking. I blow softly on her and smile when she cries out. I find that I'm hungry for her. My body is starving for her. I pull away from her and she moans in frustration. My body is screaming at me to touch her, to taste her. I shed my clothes in record time and climb onto the bed with her.

I come over her, holding my weight on my arms. Keeping the pressure off her. I don't want her to hurt. I lean my head down again and slowly begin my exploration again. Her hands are wrapped in my hair and she is arching her back towards me. My control is slipping. I'm not going to make it much longer.

"Please...Ranger." Oh God. I can't wait.

"I'm sorry, Babe. I can't wait anymore."

In one swift motion I joined my body with hers, exulting at the feel of her even as she screamed my name.


	12. Babe, I Love You

**A/N: This story doesn't really "move" the story along, but at the same time I felt that it was needed. Just some good, happy, lusty sex fun. Not too smutty, but smut just the same.**

**Thanks to all who have been keeping up!**

**As always, I don't own these characters, but Ranger can come visit me if he'd like. :)  
**

Chapter Eleven

Sun is filtering in through the windows when I open my eyes. I lift my head to look at the alarm clock. Noon. Huh. The day has begun without us. I'm only mildly surprised that we slept so late. I chose not to set the alarm when we finally called it a night somewhere around five this morning. Turns out that once I started touching her, I couldn't seem to stop. Good thing, neither could she.

I pull her closer against my chest so I can breathe in her scent. Her hair is a wild mess of curls spread out on her pillow, and it tickles my nose when I bury my face against her neck. Mine. She is the first person in my life I've ever felt the need to stake a claim on. The only person I've ever felt possessive of. I feel both wonderment at this, and sheer blinding terror. She can hurt me. Deeply.

When she got shot saving me and I didn't know if she would make it the blinding terror and panic was almost more than I could handle. Alonzo was dead already, killed by her as she jumped through the air to knock me out of the way. I still don't think she knows how she did it. I'm not sure it was possible for her to have done it. Though, it was done. I find myself wishing he were still alive so that I could tear him limb from limb for daring to harm her.

Steph shifts and it drags me out of my dark thoughts, moving my thoughts farther south to more pleasurable pursuits. It's insane how much I crave her, how my body reacts to the simplest of touches from her. I drop soft kisses on her bare shoulder, insanely glad that she hadn't bothered with clothes before falling asleep. My lips move down her shoulder, across her should her blade and continue their journey leisurely down her spine.

I can feel her body respond, even while she is still only semi-conscious. A moan escapes her lips and I can feel the moment she comes awake. I take that moment to glide into her, causing the moan to turn into my name. This is how every morning should be, this is what I want. To wake up with her in my arms. Smelling her scent, loving her and being loved by her. There is still so much that needs to be said before I can have that. Time to get to it then, Manoso.

I am dressed in my usual black cargos, black RangeMan t-shirt and black vibram soled boots when I carry Steph's coffee into the bathroom for her. She's wrapped in one of the full body towels that Ella keeps stocked in the bathroom, her hair dripping down her back. "Sexy." I say. Tugging on a loose curl.

I had decided not to join her in the shower in favor of ordering up breakfast. Her stomach had been making it's demands known after our last round and things get dicey when Steph is hungry. "Ella brought up brunch for us. It's in the kitchen." I hand her the steaming cup of coffee drowning in milk and liberally laced with sugar. "I figured you could use this."

"You're a God." She claims, taking a sip. "Oh. Okay. Feeling better now." She adds with a moan. I dip my head, touching her lips, tasting coffee. I dip my tongue inside touching her tongue. Heat flashes through me and I can feel my pants get tight. Damn. I need to leave now or the food is going to have to be warmed up. I step away.

"Ten minutes." I say as I walk out of the room and close the door behind me. Wow. Control yourself Manoso.

I walk into the kitchen and sit down on one of the counter stools. I've got some time before she'll be out so I open up the paper that Ella brought in with the food. I check the stock report, and glance at the sports page. Yankees won against the Mariners. No surprise there.

I feel her in the room and I know that she's leaning against the door frame watching me. I fold the paper and look at her. She is beautiful. Even with the bruising that is still visible where she got shot. Her eyes are sparkling and I can see all the emotions in them. She is concerned about last night. I can see the worry, the stress cross her face. I can see that she is expecting me to send her back to Morelli again. That I'm going to put us back to the way I had before. Not this time. "Not this time, Babe."

Shock replaces the previous emotions on her face and I smile.

"Damn ESP." She says. "What do you mean, not this time?"

I mean that I want to marry you, spend the rest of my life with you, and let you into every part of me. I can't say that of course. Not without her freaking out and running. So instead I say, "I don't share. You're not going back to Morelli. Not this time. I want you in my bed. A lot."

She visibly gulps, but doesn't say anything.

"Come sit down. Don't want to let Ella's cooking go cold." I tell her.

I remove the covers off the food, revealing doughnuts, pastries, and breakfast sandwiches on one platter and bagels, lox, and low fat cream cheese on another. Ella also included fresh fruit. Bananas, oranges and... peaches. Steph is like a peach, her scent, her taste, her sweetness. I think I feel like peaches this morning.

"Wow." I hear Steph say, and I look up at her, expecting to see her looking at the food. My heart jumps when I realize she's looking at me and she continues, "Whatever you're thinking, Batman, the room just jumped a dozen degrees." She smiles, "is it dangerous for me to ask?"

I'm thinking that I really want to skip food and just sate myself with her. Though, I think if we don't slow down I'm going to end up dead. Happy, but dead. "Depends on what you consider dangerous." I respond. "It's nothing that involves murder. Though, it may involve my death." I take a bite of the juicy peach in my hand, the sweet, tart taste explodes in my mouth as the juice hits my tongue, and throat. Wow, is right. I have a new found appreciation for peaches.

"_Oh Boy_." She gulps. Apparently my eyes must be showing more than my appreciation for the juiciness of the fruit. I'm beginning to feel like a teenager again. This is crazy.

"You taste and smell like peaches and fresh rain." I say, catching her off guard. She's watching me with avid interest as I suck the remaining juice off my fingers. I can see her pulse jumping under her skin and her eyes dilate. Nice.

"Huh?" She responds. My smile gets bigger and I arch my eyebrow. She's staring at my mouth and isn't saying anything. I think I've struck her speechless. This is something new.

"Babe?" I ask.

"Yeah?" Her breathless response.

"You okay?"

A gulp, and her tongue darts out and across her lips. I feel myself tightening. I'm so tight with need that I'm having a hard time thinking straight, but I can't help but torment us both. I stand and walk towards her. She has remained standing, just watching me.

When I am in front of her I stop, just far enough away from her not to be touching. Close enough though that if she takes a deep breath she will be flush against me. I do nothing but stand there, waiting for her. Allowing her to make the move, to choose.

She takes a deep breath and every part of us touches. She wraps her arms around my neck, dragging my mouth to hers. I kiss her, not slow, not sweet, but deep and demanding. Her legs wrap around my waist and I can feel her heat against me. Suddenly I'm ravenous. I can't hold on, all my legendary control—gone. I wrap my arms around her pulling her hard against me. There is no chance we're going to make it out of the kitchen. She's wearing a skirt, and it's a good thing. Less clothing to remove.

I carry her toward the counter and sit her down on it. I need to get to her. Need to taste, to touch. To breathe her in. I run my hands up her thighs pushing her skirt up. She's got a scrap of silk between us. One little scrap protecting her from everything that I need. I glide my hand up under the skirt, slide my fingers beneath the silk and rip. The sound of material ripping pushes my control again. Damn. Hold on. Hold on. I say as a mantra in my head.

I bend down and latch my mouth around her and she comes apart. Her hands are locked in my hair and she is whimpering while she moves against me. Yes. Yes. Yes. Mine. I sit down on the stool I'd vacated earlier and realize for the first time that my pants are undone. When did this happen? So much for being aware of my surroundings. Oh Hell. Who cares, I can't wait any more. Without another thought she is straddling my lap and I am buried inside her. Yep, I'm a teenager again. Shit.

When we can catch our breath again and my legs have quit shaking I slowly release my hold on her so that she can sit back. She is radiant. Her skin is glowing from the after effects of her orgasms. Her eyes are bright with laughter and happiness. Apparently, I'm not the only one feeling like a kid again. I brush my lips across hers and feel love rush through me. It's time. No more practice, no more waiting. Take a deep breath Manoso, it's time to jump.

I whisper just loud enough for her to hear, "Babe, I love you. I'm _in_ love with you."


	13. Epilogue

**A/N: This is the final chapter in the story. I hope it ties everything up well. I'm sorry it took so long for me to post this. With the holidays, family, and real life getting in the way it took me a little longer to finish the story than I'd originally intended. Thank you to everyone who read and responded to this. And a big thank you to **_**Inthewindbabe**_** for her support and checking up on me. :) I appreciate it. Let me know what you think of this final chapter.**

**As always, if you recognize them, then they aren't mine...  
**

EPILOGUE

I feel her breath against my neck. She's gone completely still at my whispered declaration and the only sound in the room is my heart beating loudly in my chest. _Oh Shit._ What have I done? I don't notice the trembling at first, and when I finally do my heart jumps into my throat. Her body is trembling and it is getting worse. I start to panic.

"Babe?" I ask. Worry is clear in the tone.

I watch as she raises her face to mine, tears glistening in her beautiful blue eyes, and the biggest smile I've ever seen spreads across her face. Suddenly the laugh rolls from her lips. She is laughing? _Laughing?_ I feel a mixture of emotions running through me. My first thought is that she thinks my love is amusing to her, but that thought leaves quickly. I know my Babe. I take a deep breath and really look at her. She's laughing and smiling, and I understand as she throws her arms around my neck and starts kissing me with all the passion and love that I hoped for.

"I love you too. I'm _in_ love with you. I always have been." She says looking into my eyes. My heart is beating so hard against my chest that I'm afraid it's going to bust out. She loves me. Is in love with me. Me! Ricardo Carlos Manoso. Holy Shit. Now what do I do?

There is a part of me that I can feel freaking out as the implication of her love registers. I love this woman, she completes everything about me and yet I have no idea what I need to do now. I want to spend the rest of my life wrapped in her arms, loving her. Waking with her in the morning, falling asleep with her at night.

I'm guessing it wouldn't be macho or batman like to pass out on her. Take a breath Manoso. You've got the girl, now what are you going to do about it? Take it one day at a time. One day at a time.

She wraps her self around me again, this time pressing herself into me, rubbing herself against my length. Her heat is scalding, and moist. I may not know what I'm going to do in the future to make sure that Steph stays with me, but I know exactly what I'm going to do right now. Grabbing her hair in my fist I plunder her mouth and ram myself home. Home.

While I was in the hospital with Steph I'd had a dream about her at my house in Maine, sitting on the lake, loving her, asking her to be my wife. I haven't been able to rid myself of that image, so today I'm making that image a reality.

We arrived at my lake house in Maine late last night, and spent the night loving each other in front of the fire until we were both sated and exhausted. Now, with the spring sun shining over head and flowers blooming I am leading my only love to the spot from my dream.

She's been quiet for a few days, and I think she has something on her mind, but she hasn't said and I don't want to push. I know she'll tell me when she's ready. I only hope that what I'm about to do will make her happy, that she will accept me, accept us forever.

The ring I had made for her is sitting heavy in my pocket, my palms are sweating and my stomach feels like seagulls are practicing for the Olympics. I'm nervous. Until I met her I didn't get nervous. I'm not sure I knew what nervous was. I obviously do now. I can't help but think that she might say no. I don't think I could handle that.

When we step into the clearing it is just how I dreamed it was. I hear Steph's gasp and her hand goes to her heart like she's trying to keep it inside. Interesting. "Babe?" I ask her.

She looks at me looking shocked, and says, "I've been here before. I swear I have."

I decide not to say anything. I wonder if she had the same dream I did. Stranger things have happened in our lives. Instead, I lead her by her hand to the edge of the lake and draw her down onto the grassy knoll. I smile when she begins running her hands through the daisies and I know without a doubt that this is the time. This is how it's supposed to be.

I pick the biggest flower and tuck it in her hair, right behind her left ear. She is the most beautiful person I've ever seen. I don't know how I ever lived without her in my life. How was I even alive before her?

She is looking at me, her beautiful blue eyes twinkling in the sunlight. Her hair cascading along her shoulders, free and wild just like her. She is blushing and I can't help but lean forward and kiss her slightly parted lips. When are lips part I say, "Do you know, that in some cultures wearing flowers in your hair has the same symbolism as a ring?"

"Hmmm, really?"

I grab her hand in mine before continuing, "Yeah, Babe. If a woman wears a flower behind her right ear she is single, but if she wears it behind her left ear she is taken."

She smiles at me then and says, "So, I guess this means I'm taken then, huh?"

"Yeah, Babe. It does." I say, feeling my lips curl up as I kiss her again. I reach into my pocket and pull out the blue box before saying, "Unfortunately, flowers don't last long, and I want to make sure everyone realizes you're taken. Forever." I open the box and watch her eyes go wide and her hand goes up to her mouth.

Removing the ring from the box I place it gently onto her ring finger, lift her chin up with my finger so that she's looking directly into my eyes and I say, "Babe... Stephaine Michelle Plum... I love you. I've been in love with you since the day I met you in that cafe. I can't imagine my life without you in it. I don't want to imagine my life without you in it.

"I love you for everything that makes you who you are. Your heart, your soul, your spirit. I love you for your faith in me, and your faith in the world around you. I love you, not in spite of, but because of everything that happens in your life. I love you because even though you blow up cars, roll around in trash, and acquire stalkers at an alarming rate, you never quit being you. You never quit being the light that shines in the darkness of my life.

"I love you. Make me the happiest man in the world. Marry me. Be my wife. Be my partner. Be my other half." Wow. I did it. I just said more than I'm used to saying. My heart is in my throat, my stomach is still going crazy and my palms are still sweating, but I did it.

Her smile is radiant and a single tear glistens as it slides down her cheek. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" She says on a whisper as she jumps into my arms and kisses me. "Yes, I will marry you. Yes I will be your wife, your partner and your other half. Though, right now I'm a little more than half. More like Three quarters."

The confusion I'm feeling at her statement must be showing on my face because she throws her head back and laughs. "Ranger, we're pregnant."

I'm smiling so big that my face is hurting, happiness is running through me and I pick her up and spin her around. I'm getting a second chance to be a father from the beginning. I'm not going to screw this up. I'm not going to miss a thing.

She is laughing and clinging to me. Kissing my lips, my cheeks, my jaw. Trailing her lips down my neck and nipping lightly at my pulse point. My head is spinning and I lay her down in the grass and come down beside her, capturing her lips with my own.

When we finally pull apart we are gasping for breath. She looks at me with love shining from her eyes and places her hand on my cheek. "You had the same dream, didn't you?" She asks.

My heart tumbles in my chest. Wow. "Yeah, Babe. I did." I tell her, placing my hand on her stomach where are child is growing.

"You really are Batman. I love you. You are my other half." With that she kisses me and our life together begins.

The End


End file.
